Your Body is a Wonderland

Some totty is easy to find.

Swimmers and divers more or less by default (if they are not wearing scary speedo suits) have to have not much on.

Take Canadian divers Nicolas Le Blanc (Nick the white) or Christopher Kalec who you can find shirtless picture after shirtless picture of. On the topic of Canadian totty to save the Emails nice that they are HINT HINT I have no idea if Tyler Harcott is gay, I do though have shirtless caps of him somewhere in the blog.

Then you have JJ Martinez who teases but doesn't strip. [Borrowings from]

Getting behind

Justin Peckett

And there was I thinking...

No jokes about that being a rare thing.

Actually I thought I was well travelled but when I put all the places I've visited into World 66 I got this:



create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

OK I have tended to go to warm English speaking places but I've missed out South America totally and only got to Tunisia in Africa (school trip not naff holiday).

Pants puns

'Saints and Sooners', the laboured 'Sooner Sinner' or the blatant the 'Sooner they are naked'.

The Sooners are any University of Oklahoma sports team (how inventive...not) but I'll be dealing with their gymnastic totty.

Here are Bill's picks:
Quinn Rowell
Brian Trause
Mike Gehart

Heath Mueller and Josh Gore are OK too (where's my faint praise as I haven't damned anyone with it lately).

Ho humm

I was discussing at lunchtime my odd sporting likes. I can't stand football, find rugby a tad primitive, snooker duller than Ian Duncan Smith, and golf is the product of a circle of hell (the one which the French get sent to on mass for surrendering all the time) but I like Aussie Rules football (and not just for the totty and the uniforms) and gymnasts (again not for the totty and uniforms).

Now I might want to do sinful things to Mark McGough, Llane Spaanderman 1 and 2 and Tadhg Kennelly but that doesn't mean that I don't actually watch the sport. It just means that it has added interest.

Now I had thought of doing a bad pun for the gymnasts...and I am going to (see above).

Comments

If you make a comment (in the boxes provided) you may get things (nice things).

You beast

One of the beauties of the internet (bar the fact that it gives me yet another way of avoiding doing any work) is that you get to see totty without having the dubious pleasures of actually watching the TV shows they are in.

An example of this is Christopher Sadrinna in Beastmaster.

Another is TJ Sorrell of Cavegirl which is one of the now increasing number of kid's TV shows that show totty in various stages of undress.

Another is Ben Gerrad of Hollyoaks (that is vaguely worth a watch) . Ben is showing off his hairy chest (odd thing to have if you are allegedly 17 (unless you are Ian 'my mum went too near Three Mile Island' Thorpe)). [Caps by Baton]

And Simon Thomas (who I'm not going to comment on the sexuality of...today) who was in Oxford and NOBODY BLOODY TOLD ME UNTIL THE DAY AFTER. [Caps recycled through a number of people so no idea whose they are but I suspect Baton again]

Then you get totty you'd never of seen without the net like Felipe Colombo who is big in South America and Israel or Julian Hans of the stripping naked rugby team (or Stade France).

Sir Peter Ustinov April 16, 1921 to March 28, 2004

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.

Googleral

The new Google 'look' is so pants.

Learning to fly

I still prefer the Tom Petty song over the Foo Fighters one...

TJ Sorrell so nearly gives a perfect view.

Aaron Smolinski trying to act...lucky for Aaron he's pretty.

For the cheap seats

Some chap from some forum which nobody has ever visited wanted some more pictures of Sydney Swans players. I've decided to be nice so here is...

Tadhg Kennelly

Here
Here
Here
Here
Here

Tristen [sic] Walker

Here
Here

Now seriously if you haven't already signed up to Dreamcaps forums you are missing the Carlson twins...naked.

Naughty Noah

Noah Frank was in David DeCoteau epic Young Warlocks but has also been in some naughty films [usual caveat about the link going to pictures that are not for children or those of a religious disposition].

Bill suggests you visit

Regardless of the rights or wrongs of any issue both sides have their idiots.

Brain Terminal or Evan Coyne Maloney and his video camera shows how violent 'peace' protesters are, how simply bonkers anti-Israel protesters are and how so many people who are anti Bush haven't actually thought things through.

I don't care what your opinions are if you are violent, ignorant and/or rude, but if you are informed and willing to debate then I will listen to you. All protesters should remember that it is not just me who thinks that way.

What a good first name

Will 'I was in that Gap ad' Kemp was in that Gap ad (I have two photos so needed to say it twice so there) is a dancer and now will soon be a film star.

Nice face but can he act? No idea but I do know that in those Gap ads they airbrushed out his moles and spots. Overpriced US university clone wear yes, normal human bodies no.

Well that's clever

Ian 'I'm not gay honest' Thorpe has been disqualified from the 400 metres freestyle at the Australian Olympic trials.

It seems all the media, the Australian PM John Howard and almost everyone in surfing is high culture land think it's a stupid move.

Former Australia Olympic champions Dawn Fraser and Kieren Perkins and AS officials think the decision should stand and are now seeking the nearest bomb shelter.

Now I'm not the greatest swimming expert but to do this really is stupid and those who made and support this decision are prats of the first order and this isn't (just) because I want to get inside Ian's speedos.

Threesome

Is it naughty to sleep with two brothers (not per se at the same time)?

If it isn't the younger part of the McVeigh totty franchise Jarrad is coming onstream well.

Jarrad plays with Ryan O'Keefe, Tadhg Kennelly, Sean Dempster, Josh Willoughby and the shaggy Jason Saddington (who looks so much better without the perm).

If that doesn't work perchance Ben Cousins can show you his armpits again and again.

Random TV totty

The uncredited Jaffar (?) on Stargate SG1 episode Into the Fire.

Here
Here
Here

Move woman.

Jeremy Renner shirtless

Pop but I saw them on a Sky channel so here's blast from the near past A1.

Why Orlando Bloom shouldn't do an interview with Bill around.

Ohh arty

Here are some picture of totty by photographer Michael Thompson.

James Marsden and Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty.

And here's a badly cropped photo of James Carlton.

Bill's odd tastes of today

Aaron Paul has been on ER and both CSIs (which is not that rare).

The cuter Dumais brother Justin.

For my next trick...

To add to the Home and Away silliness on Hollyoaks tonight we had Jake's mum say she thought he was gay.

Why?

He wasn't very good with girls and ate brown bread.

Now though I would be more than happy if Kevin Sacre was playing a gay character. Not at all. But imagine if the stereotyping was about blacks or women...

Jeremy

I have odd tastes...I admit it.

Is Jeremy Renner an odd taste or not? In case you are wondering he has been on Angel, CSI tos, and was in the Pink video 'trouble'.

Strip David strip

Here's my fav bit of totty on Living TV's Strip Search [caps by Baton]

David posing looking cute.

David looking stoned.

David from below.

David looking camp.

David assumes the position.

David trying to pull.

David mid act (what act is up to your dirty minds)

David being eyed up.

David showing off.

David mastering the finer points of running a tap (not the greatest mind, bless)

Public announcement

If you happen to be in Chalfont St Giles there is a very cute chappy working on the cigarette counter in Budgens.

Well I never

Dustin Hoffman's son Max (right) is quite cute in an Adam Rodriguez way.

Home and shag Seb

Well it's happened.

Chris was asked by Seb if he had ever wanted to kiss anyone and Chris moved forward towards Seb who looked all shocked. According to Sky's TV summary thingy Chris runs away.

This is fiction on Home and Away by the way but shows how inept straight people are at dealing with the gay issue.

Homsexuals on TV usually fit into four classes:

a) The camp funny gay.
b) The predatory gay.
c) The confused kid who turns out to be straight really.
d) The annoying out and so proud people want to kill him gay that p*sses everyone off.

The reactions to gays is predictable too. As Mrs Gamblin put it and I'm going to nick it 'top marks for Irene's "shock horror" response to the thought of a queer lad being in Nick's bedroom, complete with doom and gloom music. Tastefully done, H&A'.

This really, really p*sses me off. No not because I'm some sort of gay liberation type chap but because this sort of dross makes gay kids think what they are is wrong and people will be repulsed by them.

It's a shame that a soap that has dealt with rape, child abuse, drink problems, cancer, murder and Ben Unwin's vanishing hairline can't deal with a kid who is gay.

Jumping totty

British long jumping totty Chris Tomlinson looking all butch. (OK I couldn't think of anything else).

Oh and here's Eric Balfour who I assume can jump...why he would is another matter.

AFL totty

Arguably the sport with the cutest totty is Australian rules football (which like the American version of football rarely involves feet).

I've posted a number of examples of this tottyfilledness but here's some more.

Simon Black of the Brisbane Lions is cute, in those uniforms that are really designed to show the totty in all it's glory.

Brisbane also sports Jason Gram Tom Logan, Michael Rischitelli and Luke Power. Llane Spaanderman will add to the numbers when he stops looking 12.

Hawthorn has regained Trent Croad who they shouldn't have lost and took his revenge on Fremantle.

Float my boat

We may not win the actual race but Oxford's boat race totty is yet again better than that smeggy cold place on a marsh. Here's the cute Peter Reed against something called Steffen Buschbacher.

Non toxic

As this has come up in various things today here's a little fact for straight people.

If you are gay (or bi) you don't jump on any man you see wanting to shag him through the nearest hedge (or railings if you are in the city).

A lot of you straight men are (and I'm sorry to say this but it's true) as ugly as sin. Finding men sexually attractive doesn't make you blind. Even if you are cute you may not be the 'right type' or simply be so much of a prat that we would rather sleep with John Prescott [borrowings from] than you.

But finally what must be the real killer fact for you it's not you butch males that women are attracted to but homosexual men.

I want candy (and totty)

Should totty be hairy like Stuart Manning? Umm?

Should totty be all smooth like Justin Spring?

Should totty be camp butch like Duncan James?

Or should it shock you by suddenly becoming cute like Tim Draxl?

Fedor Andreev

Canada's medal winning skating totty Fedor Andreev looks like skaters should look thin and cute. To put it crudely you wouldn't throw him out of bed for eating crisps.

Dean Sheremet

Dean is a dancer cum pretty thing on celeb's arm at events.

He also looks like this which can't be the biggest negative in LA. though I wonder how many Dean types (ie cute and well cute and....not much else) are wandering around (looking cute) with little or no chance of becoming something.

Dean has also done MTV Undressed (looking cute) which tends to imply he's not that high up the ladder.

While you ponder that stare at Simon Thomas' behind or Duncan James looking all moody.

Our first contribution

Ben Cousins

[I have had a few pictures sent to me but I was asked to post this]

Isn't it just bloody typical?

You find a really cute Aussie Rules player with the must have had the p*ss taken out of him at school Brett Doswell and you can only find this other picture of him.

Bill pulls his best Benjamin Mckenzie lost and hurt look (OK that's all Ben can do but he is cute).

Well I'm shocked

Michael Howard backs same sex civil partnerships.

Random totty

Sporty running types from the US Chris Lukezic, Mike Dickson, Tyler Campbell, and Adam Vogt and again

That's nice

It's nice to see Jensen Ackles shirtless again and again and again

Bless

Ahhh killer turtle must wear protection

Chest staring anyone?

Home and a gay

OK it's a tragic title but I am having my monthly 'can't be bothered' day today (which is why I'm not out drinking).

Now Home and Away has recently replaced Neighbours as quality totty Australian soap.

It does have it's advantages being set in Summer Bay which is actually Palm Beach north of Sydney (though Mona Vale has better beaches) which is a tad warmer than Melbourne. It hasn't always been this way. Neighbours has gone from Jansen Spencer, Jesse Spencer, Jonathan Dutton, Andrew Bibby and Dan Paris to Blair McDoughnut, his plumpness something Harvey (see the impression he's made) and Jay I forget his surname.

Home and Away has Kip Gamblin (yes dear), Chris Egan, Mitch Firth, Beau Brady, Danny Raco, and now Rian McLean who those who have been ill recently or students will know was in the odd Round the Twist (which featured Tim's crush Brook Sykes).

Rian plays Christopher Ross who has magically (as they do in soaps) gone from 10 to 16 in a year and is gay...yes gay.

Now one might hope for a good storyline with pathos and subtle investigation of the issues around teenagers being gay...nahhh Rian has been told to act camp (not hard for him...see Round the Twist) and to make rather lame passes as Chris and Mitch (mainly Mitch) while they stand shirtless in front of him (Mitch wants to join in too) and later to get shirtless himself.

I bet what we get is an inept attempt to pull Mitch followed by loads of angst then a happyish ending with Rian's character disappearing faster than David Sneddon's career.

Oh god no please no

James Napier is going to do Power Rangers.

Someone who looks like this and this can't do crap TV (well he was in the Tribe so really, really, really crap TV).

If though he wants to keep dressing up as Tarzan and wander around in loincloths that is to be encouraged . In fact I'll see if that is a canoe in his pocket (OK loincloths don't have them but work with me) or if he is having a natural reaction to seeing Bill.


Borrowings from the James Napier Fanclub

The weather's fine but there may be a meteor shower

I just wanted to use that ELO lyric and guess what I can...he he he

Andrew Walker no not Mr Kids sitcom but an AFL player who is cute too(on left).

Jake Gycanyouspellthathaal posing or may be he just walks like that.

Zane Holmes who has imho the perfect build (or the one I like).

People search 'Tim Draxl gay' and get here. Do they know something I don't...I'll make a list.

Justin Blumfield...what are blums and why put them in a field?

Hey James Davies want to do an impression of a deer in the headlights? No because Bill uploaded the wrong picture. I wonder who might be the subject of 'jqyllenhaal.jpg'. This is the right one (though will probably be of Howard 'Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhh' Dean).

There go my plans for a sensible post.

4.8 tonnes of Special K

As I watched a mate of mine eat their sixth special K bar I realised (apart from needing new mates) that often if we think something is good for us we have a lot more of it than things we think are bad for us. Are 20 Marlboro Lights safer than 10 Camels (which are better to sell wives )? Is that party pack of 400mg ibuprofen tablets really better than paracetamol (30,000 hospital admissions for poisoning by paracetamol and circa 100 deaths each year)?

Public service announcement over.

Do I post too many gymnasts? Probably but here's Chris Higgins (who isn't really God's gift but I love the expression on his face), Wes Aderhold (who is eighteen and no he doesn't look it), Wes Haagensen (who doesn't make icecream), and it's probably just me but look at this...thinking Lord of the Rings? No? OK it is just me.

Too many AFL players? Bahh. Marcus Baldwin looking all naughty college boy, James Davies ready for jokes about big balls and the Fremantle players after a night with me.

Too many rugby players? Not want to see Simon Taylor shirtless?

And now the (more) silly picture Simon Thomas (our favorite naught vicar's son who generates more than a little speculation).

This side of the pond

Here's a few examples of British gymnastic tottiness.

David Eaton

Danny Lawrence

Barrie (was Barry too common?) Collie

How shocking

No not how biased the BBC are, not how much of a liar the immigration minister is, not even that George W is looking like he is cleverer than John Kerry but yet again Phixx are shirtless...

One day I'll find a picture of them with shirts on.

Take me to the river

We are a month an a half away from May Day (or allegedly clever Oxford students jump into a shallow rubbish filled river day). But people make mistakes.

Mart West is now a soap star but he used to do this which is probably as naughty as it looks.

Scott Caan (with a girl...ohhh bless we are so fooled Scott) and Paul Walker pose on a beach. Mistake? Timeline, Meet the Deebles (I think that's what it was called) ...and more or less every film Paul and Scott have been in.

Marc Crumpton was famous (sorta) once. His mistake? No idea but looking like this
it can't have been lacking tottiness.

Robbie Ginepri didn't do too well in his last few matches.

Then we have the successes for no real reason.

Blair McDonough...nut who can't really act but has a part on Neighbours.

Scrumdown which is a good site but needs a BLOODY INDEX or SEARCH FUNCTION. Where are my pills?

Finally Mrs Anton Dietzen better know how lucky she is to wake up next to this, while Bill can't rub baby oil all over this and this. [again thanks to Val of Dreamcaps for those]

Fountains of Wayne

For someone who isn't the greatest rugby fan I'm posting rather a lot of pictures of rugby players. Ben Cohen, Michael Witt, Darren Lockyer, Jono West to name a few (or the one's I can find quickly on my File Manager).

Well adding to the collection (well actually this is a bit of a repeat) is Wayne Godwin who seems to have a habit of posing naked for pictures.

He was also on the Salon in varying positions of shirtless and nudity.

Here
Here
Here

Though he's not the only one on the Salon who gets naked.

Here
Here.

And in case you are interested Fountains of Wayne are a spiffing beat combo from New York City.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

I've always thought that sounds kinky (and give yourself a gold star if you know where the quote comes from).

I just thought I'd share that...

Because I can

Here's a link to Ged's website and arguably the most prosaic blog ever.

Replace 'I went to the pub which was nice where I saw Jim' with 'After planning the invasion of Poland I wandered thro' each charter'd street, near where the charter'd Thames does flow and entered a den of inequity where I saw chained to a pillar...'

Well I never

It's odd what random button pressing on one's remote (or more truthfully my inepitude at remembering channel numbers) gets you. Today I got Cavegirl (which I have described below somewhere) which reminded me how cute Harry Capehorn is and (and it's probably my odd tastes) but how cute TJ Sorrell is.

It looks like one of the Phixx boys is yet again shirtless. Well it is the cutest Nick so we'll let him off. I so hope that they actually get some better material as Love Revolution is simply rubbish. If they really want sales they could do an Eric Mabuis and have it as an MPEG on their CD single.

Wasn't that version of Scottish history last night a waste of time? I videoed it thinking it might be vaguely historically accurate. It wasn't. Well acted. It wasn't. Paul Nicholls would get his kit off. He didn't.

The next one is on James I/IV the bisexual, water/cold metal phobic, anti-smoking, mother hater. Should be interesting and Michael Fassbender playing Guy Fawkes is very cute.

Imagining the logistics

Here's Tommy Rowlands again (thanks to Val for finding the pic)

Sporty (and the meaning of totty)

Michael Witt is an Australian rugby player and is apparently very good...never watch rugby in this country let alone in Australia...well they have Aussie Rules and players like Mark Coughlan and Ben Cousins which appeals more...sorry.

Then there is Tommy Rowlands who must be related to Matt Shrivington and won some wrestling thingy (is a having third leg cheating?).

And Jacob Young for no reason whatsoever.


Totty is a group noun for attractive men and/or women.

Before I go out

Here's who I want in my bed when I come home, Orlando Bloom.

10,000

Well I've now had more visitors than votes Bush 'won' or won by depending on which pole you sit on.

I'm still open to requests...for pictures...and...

Odd

Well apart from walking into cute Canadian Matt at least once a week (I might one day talk to him) and being a tad disappointed about the tottiness of the staff in the Cornmarket Starbucks I've noticed not much and really am just trying to make this post not just a list of pictures but if you are called Matt...no I will talk to him but I bet you he's straighter than a very straight thing.

Anyhows here's David Spriggs:

Here
Here

and Duncan James of Blue who must be the cleverest member of Blue (OK that's not hard).

Simply scary

Swimmers wearing speedos used to be a good thing until those speedos started looking like this and this.

They even make Thomas Rupprath (bilber=photos (aren't I helpful)) look bad...

Wobble

I do so love it when other people do all the work.

Well Lost in the Attic has updated it's Leeches caps yet another David DeCoteau epic.

Leave the kid alone

Bigots come in all shapes and sizes and can outwardly be cute. Also people can say things not understanding the effect it has.

Brandon Henschel was/is a dancer for Britney Spears and has had bit parts in a few films and TV shows.

Sadly young Brandon seems to have some rather odd views.

On his forum under a thread he started called 'Am I gay?' he writes 'First of all, you all are quite aware of the fact that I follow Christ. So how can I be gay, if that is not in accordance with the Scriptures. ' amongst other things.

Now you may disagree with Brandon's statements on the matter but he doesn't really understand why people are reacting in the way they are. He's a young man with rather undeveloped views and I'm sure in a few more years he'll be a much more rounded chap. Let's not follow some of the posters on the forum and become attack dogs.

If you want proff of how confused his religious views are this moral chap has also posed naked for AnF which I'm sure is a tad naughty religiously.

You &*$%ing $%% *&£$ ^&*^&

Well the net is for odd people (whoever said 'like you' is going to have to listen (yes listen only...no mostly naked boyband wantabees) to the new Phixx song).

Celebs swearing...yes there is a website containing MP3s of 'celebs' swearing.

Devil's haircut

There I go showing my age again but like the annoying prat who signs off just before you can fully download something on KaZaA (346258k of 354182k) or the website that puts it's tag on other people's caps you sometimes find totty in the oddest places (and I had a 'thing' for Beck, sad I know).

Examples you cry (as if). Take Glen Meadows (yes I'm still using that gag) who is in the so crap it's crap film Delta Delta Die. Now Glen is cute and has done pretty naff porn (danger link to naughty stuff) but he still looks good.

Larry Sullivan looks good too but has avoided being in anything good too.

Now I know you won't have heard of David Kopp unless you like cycling but he does look good in all that lycra but the prizes you get for winning a race are a tad cheap.

Yet again

Some more pictures of totty that brings people here (must get visitors...so important...ohhh...ohhh...not).

Wade Robson of knowing Justin Timberlake fame (picture found by the cutest chap on FM (who oh so typically they have 'cautioned' ohh the power)).

Jon West (of Australian rugby fame).

Phixx are shockingly shirtless again (no really).

And finally here's Jensen Ackles who has dissappeared off TV...*unhappy face*

Me and blonds

Kyle Searles has been on Seventh Heaven and Malcolm in the Middle and he's cute and blond (which is good enough for Bill).

30,730

Number of page views is 30,730.
Number of visits is 8,748.
Number of comments 9.

Could we up the comment score?

Bill would like to say hi to all the readers from the University of Idaho (no I'm not spying on you it's just your domain name figures quite highly on users and it gives Bill a chance to...) and if you know a blond postgrad called Tim (I can't be too blatant) who has been to Oxford I recommend getting to know him ;)

Oh Micky your so...

Boybands are the bane of the red blooded male. Not only is there always one who you want to be naughty with but they do tend to appear shirtless every so often. Fortunately you do get the Blazin' Squads of the world who are all ugly to create a balance (awaits hate male).

All boybands do have talent just not always what they suspect.

Take Natural you can have them shirtless or looking like 70s porn stars but they do have Michael Johnson and now Bill would like to have Michael Johnson (round for tea and cake...sound likely?)

But I really should go to the right beaches in Florida because it seems to be the natural (ba boom) habitat of the rare animal Nosuccessus Boybandis.

Now for the maths. Boyband+few sales+modern record companies=boyband-clothes.

Oh the naughtiness

Say you are a gay porn star and you want to represent your country in the Olympics (something I'm sure we all think about, not) wouldn't it be totally pantic if you got on the team and got chucked off because you did porn.

Well it has happened to Hungarian Szabo Gergo AKA Sergio Foster.

It's not as if it hasn't happened before.

Read more here.