Janus

It's New Year's Eve or New Year's Day in a line slowly moving round the planet.

For those celebrating New Year's Day in Australia here's a shirtless, bulging, and exploding Jesse Spencer.

Steve Sandvoss beckons you in siren like and then lies around on the beach shirtless.

Whatever you call a lot of shirtless gymnasts including Guard Young, Daniel Furney, Toddles, Sean Townsend, and the Hamm twins.

That's all this year.

Joys impregnate

Blogging can be painful.

In another reality.

Please don't allow to breed.

The best view of Craig Doyle proving he was much better prancing around looking cute without trying to comment on sports.

The CSI episode Turning of the Screws is rather totty filled with Brad Hawkins (his site)who plays a cute but dumb gardener. Will Rothhaar (fan site) who plays an ancient Rome themed theme park staff member (hence the costume) (more 1, 2 and 3). J Barton (more pics) who is another theme park staff member.

Caps via Dreamcaps of Chris Carmack in that yoga video Tony found and I linked to before. Here Chris demonstrates certain moves:

The Vain
The Vacant Look
The Armpit Showing

Actor Ben Easter again.

Charlie Simpson.

A little help

As the death toll rises in South East Asia I'm hoping that some of this blog's 1,500 daily visitors will spare a few pounds, dollars, euros, or whatever to help people suffering.

Where to donate:

UK

Australia

USA here and here.

Let's see if we can beat oh so generous France's £71,000 donation which is much less than the money raised by the 472,931 people of Tasmania.

[Via Tom comes the news France has upped their donation to 15 million Euros]

Merry Christmas

As this is the last post before Christmas and I'm being lazy (as was only intending to answer my emails and sign off but I'm in the post going out nothing to do stage and I really am not desperate enough to watch 'Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang' (not a good thing to say in certain parts of Bangkok)) here's some totty to imagine under your tree dressed only in a bow.

Random 'ironman' totty.

Punk music 'star' (well in South America) Shido Vicious (real name probably Derek) shirtless, collared, and naked.

Ethan Erikson shirtless 'borrowed' from Lost in the Attic.

Model Rodrigo Hilbert ready for action.

Why is the Great Escape not on?

Bet you never knew that, in Washington State they have magically appearing ballots, but only Democrat ones, Michael Moore is not just an object of fun, and that J002E3 was not Earth's new moon but the third stage of the Apollo 12 Saturn V. I though never knew they spoke Elizabethan English in first century Judea.

Also worth pondering is why are there so many war films on this Christmas and Channel 4's programming is so pants. Hundreds of old Simpsons episodes and one episode of Shameless does not a Christmas make.

It's the Blue Peter crimbo play thingy today (2:15pm BBC1) and it's a Simon gets his kit off year (which he does every other year). You do though know it's Crimbo when T4 (which has interesting Nazi connotations) go off somewhere (but sadly never leave June Sarpong behind), the alleged 'blockbusters' of five years ago reach terrestrial TV, Channel 4 try to be as anti Christian as possible and Simon gets his kit off. Sadly though I suspect the scriptwriter has been busier house hunting in Manchester than imagining why Simon (and Matt too) have to be in covered in baby oil and only wearing speedos (it is kid's TV).

So what exactly are these Greek footballers doing and is it legal?

I suspect that Chris Carmack was just a struggling model when he had these photos taken of him prancing around shirtless, looking all athletic, praying (or he accidentally put superglue on his palms), or practicing for a night out with Adam Brody. Also he probably wasn't counting on my dirty mind when he said, 'it's given me the body I want'. Whose exactly? [Via Tony who is on a totty finding streak lately]

ALFlers Campbell Brown hairy and shirtless, and Adam McPhee who for some reason bowls shirtless.

Finally a hairy, muscled and shirtless Ryan Reynolds. I preferred him less bulked up but what do I know? Well who won the Battle of Lewes which is very helpful when you are chasing DHL up about packages they seem incapable of delivering. There is a river deep enough seemingly, the Cherwell.

Solstice

Spot the error.

I'm not sure if the facts in Honeytom's post (1 December, 2004) about Eastenders Chris Parker, his sexuality and suicide attempt, but whatever is going on it's rather sad.

Jon if you are going to post pictures from here on Campfire use you own frelling webspace.

Naff boybands section:

Example one is The Noise Next Door, red dyed haired triplets Scott, Craig and Ed. I don't see the attraction myself.

Example two is Freefaller (no not what we wish would happen to Geri Halliwell) that features ex Byker Grover and ex Point Breaker Ollie Billcantbebotheredtolookuphissurmane. Freefaller aren't exactly talented...musically but with boybands when has that been an issue?

Example three is Kevin 'camp V'McDair from V who apparently looks like 'a rent boy'. I love informative Emails.

I'm not going to even comment on Third Wish *cough* fuglies *cough*

And finally here's a shirtless Heath Ledger for no apparent reason.

King Lear is not a suggestion your majesty

This makes men only wearing speedos scary.

Over on Soaphunks they are having an election, so why not go and vote, not that I am suggesting anyone to vote for...good hair though.

Mr Britney shirtless, you can see what's in it for him, but compare with Justin what's in it for her? They could love each other, and I could want Adam Lavorgna to take that towel off so I can see who makes it. Oddly I see a link between Kevin and 'Actor', 'model and money spender Oscar Humphries who is quite cute, possums. Being cute is not the reason.

Sander Foppele is actually someone's name a he's naked too.

Spanish footballer Fernando Torres is rather cute in a goofy way (and he tucks in his football shirt too...bless). He does though get shirtless (more than once) and wear skirts which make the fact that he's wearing underwear in this picture all the more disappointing.

Jeremy Bloom shirtless, again.

I finish with the Smash boys, Vlad Topalov and Sergey Lazarev about to box then cuddling.

Blowing up carol singers and other uses of explosive mince pies

As the year ends and the posts they lessen we give thanks to all those who have capped, and scanned, those who provide the webspace (and those who suggested them), and the totty.

Today you lot get famous, with and without inverted commas, totty and totty from that strange and totty from that mythical place 'the real word' this time with the inverted commas.

Famous, well in their locality, genre or like Twen2y4se7en in their minds (you can email them now (don't all rush)) totty includes a shirtless Lane Carlson [via Dreamcaps] which is not a rarity a bit like 'Kenzie' from Blazin Squad (captions on a postcard). For our American visitors Blazin Squad are a group of talentless idiots who think they are hard (a bit like how they find reading (grammatically correct or not I stand by that comment but slightly to the left).

We also have footballer John Terry [credit as per tag] and the very cute Elias McConnell (and old shirtless picture for luck).

Danny Ecker and Lars Boergeling won a German game show and has to be shirtless to do it. I would suggest that for the UK but their is a flaw in that plan. Talking about Germans here [via Mitch] is German actor Marc Lubosch naked with some female. I have no idea who Marc is as I missed 'Gruene Hochzeit' (something about a green wedding) but I like blonds and this looks fun(ish).

I want to do this to Ben Cohen but in a nicer way with his body covered in baby oil as I...I better quickly post a picture of Guy from 24/7 so I can recover....cough...Rattus rattus...cough.

Finally [via Jim who tells me he found them on some yahoo group that needs the moderators approval to join, as if I'm going to do that] comes some caps of Ward Horton shirtless on what I'm assuming by the filenames is Law and Order, special Victims Unit. Though I quite like Law and Order itself which is so much better than the rubbish on UK TV, I never really go into SVU, so I'm not sure why Ward is wandering around in a towel. I'm assuming from this picture (and 'The Big Book of TV Cliche') that the police came when Ward was in the shower and ran to the door in just his towel. Interestingly he also stopped to comb his hair back. They always miss the little things.

In the Real World twined with the Discworld, New Crobuzon, The Duchy of Grand Fenwick and democratic Arab states, we have a collection of models, Nik, Jim, Ryan (twice), Mike and Mr X.

Finally we have via Tony a threesome of Nordic totty Magnus, Patrik and Senad (Bill likes the middle one who he thinks looks a bit like Todd Thornton and is guessing is called Magnus) who frolic a lot and go on beach holidays. Patrik likes posing in tight shorts too.

Finally him from Troy is boasting about his guest bloggers...but no pictures.

A little North of South

Car selling 101: 'Those amongst you suffering a lengthy history of non-violent mental illness are likely to find this vehicle appealing; or should I say appalling'.

Sportingly we have Eastern European football (the version that actually involves kicking a ball)Marat Izmailov and pretty in pink Paul Hamm.

CSI's Eric Szmanda shirtless [Via David et al].

As the Power Rangers franchise has moved to New Zealand they have borrowed some of the cast from the New Zealand TV epic the Tribe like James Napier (left). James plays a dumb jock and a Power Ranger, so the same character as of all Power Rangers. James hasn't got the blond hair he had on the Tribe which suits him better. The problem for James is he's far too good an actor for the shows he's in. That is not to say though he is a good actor.

Telespy was on a roll yesterday with these caps of Matt Milburn and Dan Cryer on Hollyoaks and a hairy Chris Carmack.

Another making of a shirtless calendar involves motorbikers frolicing around shirtless, suggestively with popping Champagne bottles and showing their behinds off. The hairy, hairier and smooth bikers carry around tires (at lot) and use them to cover things or just stand around.

The Karshner Triplets frolic shirtless again.

Mr and Mrs Travis Wolfe in bed (PGified).

Blond B movie totty Aaron Smolinski shirtless and frolicing.

Banned in Saudi Arabia (allegedly)

'You leave government with your integrity intact and your achievements acknowledged by all' and there are WMDs in Iraq.

Another Australian swimwear manufacturer but not as good as Aussiebum.

Did you know that around 10% of visitors here use Firefox, more than Netscape and IE5 combined, and that up to 5% come here using a US government domain. I'm also told I'm banned in Bahrain and Saudi Arabia, but don't plan a visit to check it out. I wonder if the mass murdering, slave labour using, corrupt dictatorship in China has blocked me too.

Apparently having to wait to vote is undemocratic [see end].

Oh the innuendo of Rainbow [Via Clay]

More caps from En malas compañías, the young, the shirtless, the corrupted, and the new version of busted [Via Tony].

The ubiquitous AFL section with Ben Cousins, Brodie Holland and the Cloke brothers, Jason and Cameron.

After corrupting the male OC cast her plasticness moves on to one of the Lane Twins and Matt Abboud.

Via his Troyness the UCLA water polo team.

Ryan Reynolds and the danger of too much make up.

Finally some caps of the Take That 'porn' video of them rolling around naked in jelly showing their behinds off.

Wobble, and its effect on long shore drift.

The leader of the BNP is racist, never. Sadly he's also gay, but hates gays so hates himself. Odd. Who said bigots were logical?

I'm not making this up but there is a 'Gadhafi International Human Rights Prize' and Venezuelan Dictator/President Hugo Chavez won it this year. Mugabe for 2005?

Jon Jackson in Tuck Everlasting stripped off before going for a swim but not the greatest view.

Glenn from Steps v2, Pop! shirtless on a beach. Nice to see we've got to the not selling singles get shirtless stage. I give 24/7 a month before they're at this stage.

An erect Steve McCain, and Todd Thornton (ummm muscles).

British acting totty Ian Curtis. Apparently he got shirtless and tied to a bed in Cracker but I can't find a cap.

I think I know why AussieBum are successful but their speedos are rather loose and wide open.

From his Tonyness comes these caps from En Malas Compañías (extra link here) staring Israel Rodríguez (no not this one) as a school boy looking for a shag in amongst other places the toilets of the local shopping mall. It's not the greatest bit of cinema but the interesting method the English tutor gets him to study looks fun. First you practice the verbs, then the nouns, finishing with adjectives. The chap passed too.

Oh before someone complains they're acting not shagging.

I finish with a blatant borrow from the best Kevin Zegers site on the web, two pictures of young Kevin shirtless, one and two.

The T shirt Eating Virus Strikes Again

Call me picky but the voice over to this War of the Worlds trailer is so naff it should be part of ITV's Christmas line up [cheers to Trent for the link].

The horror, the horror, the need for a shotgun. 'I certainly wouldn't say no' to glasses?

Find the murderer of your dreams. Scarily some of them aren't that unattractive [Via the person you should all be voting for].

Need to advertise something well just get loads and loads of men in speedos.

Anthony Callea came second in Pop Idol Australia so will have a long career while the winner will Hearsay quicker than David Sneddon. Anthony does have an odd need to tell everyone he's not gay. Might be hormonal or being on stage with the winner.

Stolen blatantly from his site are these pictures of Justin Hartley shirtless, over and over and over again. Good show that TV star.

Mackenzie Astin in a shower. Frosted glass is annoying. Should be banned.

I finish on a mix of sports totty, Andy Roddick showing off one of his talents, Thomas Rupparth's nipples defeat lycra, AFLer Brad Sewell (if you like them butch and vacant) and Polish swimmer Pawel Korzeniowski who oddly I can't find a picture of shirtless).

Interesting Shadows

Wandering around Oxford you can see buildings only just older than the Simpsons and CSI episodes on UK TV. People who occupy them forget that showerrooms haven't always got frosted glass and there are Christmas shopping crowds.

Matt Leinart won the Heisman Trophy (apparently it's a big thing in the colonies).

Ohhh the publicity.

Go, go, naff kid's TV, staring Adam Tuominen whose cute, blond and gets shirtless.

Via Tony comes Chris Carmack reading. I have a sudden urge to help him with his studies.

More shirtless AFLers, Barry Hall, Campbell Brown, Tristan Walker and Darren Jolly, and T shirted AFLers Nic Fosdike and David Spriggs.

Via C, author totty Richard Mason.

Austrian swimming totty Markus Rogan looks like he won something, with that camera so near it must be best nipples.

Back to the AFL, Hawthorn Hawks, Trent Croad (I have a couple of reasons to like Trent), and Sam Mitchell who did their bit for charity by running around in wetsuits.

Use of Weapons

Oh the wacky, wanting to be naked, students of Vermont.

'BNP members who mistakenly hired a black DJ for their Christmas party proved yesterday they were not just racist but STUPID'

British me got 88% can you Yanks do better? [Via Mick Hartley]

After hearing Blair's waffle about Irish peace, please, please, please make peace to shut the prat up. Another person who should shut up is Sam Newman who thinks gay men are 'mincing, lisping, parading people' and Victoria in Australia is 'infested with people we don't actually want' who have set up 'a new cottage industry - sphincter bleaching'. Not because he could be sent to prison for six months but because he has made himself look like a total prat.

Perhaps we could send him here [mind screwing caveat]

I start with random triathletes and Swan Lake dancers, for no other reason than I want to. As Gary Lucy looks for something he's missing, I continue with loads of USC boys from Troy via Boi from Troy (who you should all go and vote for HINT, HINT, HINT) in 2002 and 2004 while wondering why cute college gymnasts like Ralph Russo have so few good pictures, and David Furney practices for the night (oddly so many people do that or at least I can't come up with a better pun).

In my detailed search to bring you new totty aided by such heros as Kenton, Val, Tony, Joe and all the others who send me hints or pictures I bring you the Dutch boyband Di-rect get shirtless in showers and hot tubs. So in their honour here's some other Dutch totty Charly Luske, Michiel Huisman once, twice, and thrice, and Egbert Jan Weeber.

To finish off two blonds Toddles and who do you think this is?

Back to Ryan

When we left young Ryan he was climbing out of a bathroom window naked showing off his behind.

Hanging by his towel Ryan tries to get down to the ground and after scaring an old woman he gets to the fire escape.

After a few butt shots Ryan is on the ground (still showing his butt). While he covers up his bits the wet dream of many FMers happens a young kid appears. Sadly for Ryan so does the kid's father and after a few embarrassed looks (turning to worried ones) Ryan runs off to avoid getting shot.

As Ryan got clothed again I switched channels but switched back later to find Ryan in bed with another chap. I'm not sure why this happened but it sort of fits Ryan well.

Later Ryan pranced around in panties. Not sure why.

Covering all the holes

Nick, Ryan and Craig Karshner stand in lakes, sit on boats, hold things down in case they blow up, try and look cool, sit on a boat again, sit on rocks, and try and look cool.

Fortunately the do all that shirtless.

The also pose in various sleeveless T shirts.

[From their site via Bletchley Park]

44 divided by 2 times the number of needles that can go through an eye of a camel

It's an odd world where Karate Kid becomes a musical.

Funky trunks are swimming apparel and here they are modeled by famous Australians so you'll recognise none of them. Look familiar?

Know Daniel Fitzhenry? Matt Helm? Jeremy Cotter?

Well the designer (centre) Duncan McLean is cute.

Via comes Towleroad three shirtless Abercrombie and Finch models.

Via Muchy comes the Carlson Twins playing with each other shirtless.

Mr Belgium Michel Rinaldi shirtless and in a wet T shirt.

The musical Tyler Hilton is no relation to that Hilton, but is cute.

The Ryan Reynolds Post

Buying the Cow is a 'romantic comedy' not someone in Somerset getting a date. It stars Jerry O'Connell playing the same part he does in every movie, the very underrated Ron Livingston and Ryan Reynolds the subject of this post (the title kind of gives it away).

I caught the film part way through (when Ryan was in a bathroom with no clothes on to be exact) so am not totally sure why he was talking to a mirror but as he had only a towel (it comes off later) on who cares? He wanted to know where Snow White was?

As far as I can make out Ryan has woken up next to a chap and runs to the bathroom without his clothes to find a way out. He prances around looking for a way out (the window being right there). More prancing shirtless and in towel.

Then he finds the window (six feet away and he took him minutes to find it).

OK so young Ryan has a decision to make. Does he go back into the bedroom and shag the chap senseless (or politely gather his clothes and leave) or go out the window wearing only a towel. Yes he goes out the window.

Then the towel falls off.

To be continued...

Not the Ryan Reynolds Post

The most requested person is by a long shot Aaron Carter so here is a clothed Aaron looking his age, yet mildly cute. Now I'm going to get 'You posted Aaron Carter ner ner' and 'He looks far too old' emails. While I'm covering the late teens here's Drake Bell and if you complain I'll post pictures of the fat chap he's always with (see chaps do it too).

Via Cistofotos comes the Brazilian model Allan Marcelo who you can admire more here. I found Alan looking for the equally cute Mexican singer Erick Elias (his site).

The real model on Manhunt Kevin Peake who even though he looks good in tight swimming trunks shouldn't have got further than Matt or Bret. They fixed the vote I think I'll go off and make a documentary full of not very good propaganda about it.

The Lane Twins aren't as cute as the Brewers or the Carlsons but they get shirtless a lot (their site).

Best Imitation of Myself

I hate when things are postponed. I'm needy like that.

Just bought my Crimbo cards so if you know me you are getting one of 'A Barrow Full of Snow' by WL Stevenson (for the non Christians), 'The Annunciation' by Auguste Pichon, or 'An Angel' Sir Edward Burne-Jones. They may not be the greatest choice but it beats some Oxford college covered in snow which many people from Oxford send. I did once get a lot of Cambridge in Snow to confuse people, and it worked. 'Where's that in Oxford?' they asked and I grinned.

Random buff chap (his fotoblog).

If one wanders over to the Karsner Triplets site you can find long and thrilling discussions on which sex the sleep with but few shirtless pictures, like this one, of the threesome.

Wayne Rooney's night out.

On Hollyoaks a few days ago Ellie 'my husband was a serial killer' Hunter-Mills-Hunter asked Darren 'slimey oik' Osbourne to drop charges against Dan 'Hollyoaks one' Hunter. Now if this was Home and Away beating the crap out of someone would be a cry for help unless you are called Duncan and spoilt which makes you evil. Sadly Darren who is played by Ashley Taylor Dawson refuses (in that really badly acted way Ashley does so well) so Dan should go off to Australia where raping your wife's sister is something to forgive and forget.

There is so much rubbish on Sky including The Lost Treasure of Sawtooth Island which starred Seth Bernard who unfairly was shirtless just as I channel surfed past and for a lot more of the film. Fortunately the film was so bad even with the mute on I couldn't cope with more than a few scenes, shirtless Seth or not.

When AOL do a holiday

An alien arriving on our planet could walk down a high street in the UK and think we were celebrating the festival of spruce trees (or naff lights). As we are removing the whole basis to Christmas from Christmas why bother having it? This might be the product of PCness and its proponents (who I suggest we send to Iran to discuss how all those Muslim symbols really offend the Christian minority and should be taken down, and expecting people not to eat during daylight for a month is just not acceptable in a multicultural environment). I just find it sad that we're letting our culture and heritage disappear into a slough of dross.

Piratical as I am I've been advert surfing on Visit4info and found an Archer's ad which features someone who looks a lot like Dan Wells of Lost and Boy meets failed British presenter. So is this Dan in shirtless Baywatch mode or just someone cute who we can admire anyway?

His royal behind Andrea Casiraghi.

[request section]

Sean Townsend's armpits.

The shirtless guy on the programme starting in half an hour on Sky Channel...

'Any more Dan Carter'

[/request section]

Steve McCain doing the Timewarp.

The probably overcapped scene from Not Another Teen Movie in which Chris Evans (not that one) enters dressed only in whipped cream and fruit, front and back. This leaves a lot of opportunity to make getting behind and is that a banana up your ass or whatever. Oh the hilarity.

Ex US survivor personage Silas Gaither shirtless. The second picture is from Dewey's Silas site.

Shirtless for the Family

Chris Olivero was in By Dawn's Early Light which also starred the late Richard Crenna and not much else.

Fortunately then he got shirtless, over and over and over an over again in what is described as a 'family film'.

The film is not that bad for its genre if a little predictable.

Bill's Original Tottellany

After Nicholas Brendon went plump we still had Charlie Weber shirtless on Buffy.

New Zealand rugby Richie McCaw shirtless with a large cup.

Model and actor Ward Horton (his site) is blond and cute so you'll not need clues as to why he's on here.

US college footballer Chris Simms bulging.

Naill and Thom of 24/7 before Thom met Yoko.

Today's random cute guy whose name is Johnny Weir.

Lots of shirtless AFLers running. Now I might have liked sport at school if it had involved this.

And finally Swedish tennis player Joachim Johansson shirtless.

Sydney Swans

You'll never guess in a million years but this post is about the totty in the Sydney Swans AFL team.

There's Jude Bolton who the ladies like a lot for some reason but I don't, so you can make up your own minds.

Jude's brother/cousin/someone with same surname Craig Bolton who I'm equally umm about, but here's another shirtless picture of him.

For Val (and I quite like him too) here's David Springs (front) running.

Darren Jolly looking not as cute as usual, and what's that mouse doing on his chest?

Jason Saddington, and Nic Fosdike run.

And finally Tadhg 'I make Bill moist' Kennelly.

Other cute Swans are Amon Buchanan, Jarrad McVeigh, Ryan O'Keefe, and Mark Powell.

And after the spanking, the oral sex

And people ask why I have issues with FM. Sixteen and older here, as the law says.

Some shirtess US reality 'stars' from the front and back of a calendar. Not the best selection but still...

Via Joe comes the martial arts performance group like thingy Sideswipe, (more and more) featuring Matt Mullins.

Some caps from UK adverts, the overly hyper Welsh chap on the AOL advert, or 'We're a crap ISP whose software frells up your PC' advert and the Lynx advert with the chap all hot and shirtless on a bed who then gets covered in water.

And finally today's random cute chap [via mike].