Tottyland

Random fascination

I happened to be in the Early Learning Centre in Oxford today, buying a present for a friend of mine's son.

Now this is nearly as scary for a male as the women's hygiene aisle in Tescos. Firstly you get into relive childhood mode and nearly buy yourself stuff that you'll have to then hide as not to void any cred you have. I do though have a supersoaker mounted on my wall so I'm costly enough already. I really wanted those playballs and they were on buy two get a third free too. Then you notice you are being looked at. Yes you are the only male over 6 who has been in the shop for years. Either they think you are a child molester, or you are a source of pity, a poor lost soul in a world of confusion...fun or educational, just educational, do you hate the kid that much...OK he'll break that in 20 seconds... I know this may sound sexist but this is not man's work. So finally I bought him a toy car quicker than you could say stereotype.

Running from that circle of hell I retreated to the street and nearly walked straight into Matt (cute Canadian Matt of waffle below) who was wearing a shirt so open it looked like a sheet. Of all the times and places to walk into one of my pet obsessions it would be when I'm a walking stereotype for a new dad. He of course is oblivious to all this...

I am though getting a tad worried that I have a tattoo on my head saying 'Stalk Bill' because it happened again. Well not as OTT as last time but I went to try and con...Persuade someone who gets a locals discount to the Cornbury Music Festival to blag me a cheaper ticket to perve Will Young. Anyhows this chap all in black with one of those try hard beards that don't work kept looking at me across the carriage. Now I looked back and he bloody winked at me. He winked at me. He winked at me who always makes the first move, who is the puller...there is something wrong with the world if random chaps are winking at me. Then he got off at the same station I did. So I'm thinking do I, don't I, weren't you trying not to be a slut Bill...but he wandered off after winking at me again.

I have this theory that hot weather brings out the odd and the horny in people.

I console myself with this naked picture of Tom Ryder.