Piffy on a Rock Bun

To those that the photos don't work for refresh and all will be revealed eventually.

When you are on a US soap that millions of bored housewives watch it's better if you don't have a quick perve of their package. OK I know it's Jason Cook you are perving but not on film Kyle.

Via Tony comes the French Adam Brody clone Aurelien Wiik (I think he's Dutch really) nude and alone, then a threesome.

South African TV totty Colin Moss (not very Afrikaner I know) showing off his treasure trail.

Dumb blond AFL twins Chris Gooley and Sam Gooley.

And finally a bit of photoshop fun from Kenton, how Neighbours should have been.

US gymnasts Blaine Wilson, Sean Townsend and Todd Thornton in da house. Nearly up to the then PJ and Duncan's rapping.

I was Emailed from a reader who said they really liked 'rugger buggers' and could they have some more. That is really a thing better asked of your public school's rugby team, jolly hockey sticks and all that (does anyone know why hockey sticks one have emotions and two are jolly?) but here's some rugby totty to fill the gap (boom boom). His hairiness Ben Cohen, Brad Fittler and Craig Wing (with Anthony Minichiello).

Something for the dartboard Kip Gamblin and the other woman.

By request Aussie swimmer Josh Taylor (I'm assuming that was the Josh Taylor people were after).

Neighbours 'star' Jay Bunyan showing his female trailer trash side.

At present the Emails about who Bombhead will get jiggy with stand at three, two for Cameron and one for Tony. Also thanks for the 'I hope it's not Lee' one too.

Histeria

While I ponder people's inability to simply click on the Google ads under the Amazon link they didn't use either, here's his Telespyness' caps of Vs new video where they get changed and umm wear fencing kit. What ruins this video for me is the lack of shirtless gardening and porn like Grecian segments like the truly wonderful Twen2y 4 se7en.

Corrie's Ryan Thomas and Emmerdale's Karl Davies shirtless again, yes again, like the last 56 times.

AFLers Luke Ball and Matt Maguire make a nice couple. That's couple in the there being two of them way in case someone goes Chris Harbinson of Wake County, North Carolina on me.

Rodrigo Santoro in the ugliest bathroom I've seen since some idiot let one of those BBC makeover shows in. 'Hello and welcome to taking 50% of your house's value with me Talentless Bint'. Rodrigo has noticed the value of black pants under white shorts but needs to remove the female and just leave him and Will (what a good name) Kemp so they can...ummm...play Ludo.

Bouncy

Is it just me our can you see something bouncing in this Smallville clip?

As rumours spread that Bombhead is 'turning gay' Lowculture offers some partner choices, Liam 'ohhh I'm so hard' Owen, Russ 'stubble' Owen, both of them, or Justin 'stoned' Burton. I'm hoping all that bonding with Cameron means something though.

As again requested here's his tiny blond tottiness Todd Thornton shirtless again.

Subject to the usual caveats Tottyland's analogue of 'here be monsters' is Pete Maneos nude showing his bits.

I have never found him attractive but here's Will Mellor in leather tied to a bed (sadly not gagged (or in a coma)).

When you play with Bryce Johnson in the shower you expect not to be filmed.

Andy Roddick has a nice chest but what's happened to his nose?

Luke Power and Gavin Wanganeen lover's tiff?

That Bloom chap again.

Ben Tate and Simon Munro from Australian soap Breakers. Apparently Ben looks like Ben Adams of A1 in the picture so you can play imagine...or so I'm told.

Finally just to remind everyone Chris Harbinson of Wake County, North Carolina wants us all to know that he has suffered 'extreme embarrassment, public humiliation, [and] mental agony' because people might think he's gay. What Chris has failed to realise by launching silly lawsuits anyone who Googles his name will get links to gay sites. What a shame.

Silly Deaths

On Friday night there was a biopic on the Beeb about Gram Parsons. You may not have heard of him but he was for some time in the Byrds and the founder of the Flying Burrito Brothers, very talented, and very cute. Sadly he ODed in 1973.

I'm not going to preach but if you are taking hard drugs or feel depressed talk to someone.

Please.

Dear Editor...

I recently read on your website ('Confessions of a gardener / window cleaner / ropey boyband member' 23 September) that you are taking the p*ss out of the oh so talented Twen2y4Se7en (in now way a 'ropey boyband'). We here deal with visuals so don't really care how naff the video is as long as Thom *oooohhhh Thom* gets his shirt off and I run maple syrup down the cleft between his pecs and lick it off as...any way stop being horrid.

Love,

Bill.

PS as you have Aaron from V 'writing' for you can he send Kevin round with the baby oil and Mark forgot it?

The First Salute

Sporting totty includes AFLers Luke Spears and Paul Medhurst, Welsh runner the well packaged Tim Benjamin and hairy tennis totty Robby Ginepri hunky, smiling, and pity.

S Club glint in the milkman's eye's spin off 'I Dream's Matt Di Angelo.

American javelin totty Breaux Greer.

And on Neighbours...

'Hi Drew I'm excited to see you'
'Well I'm trying to look like I haven't noticed'
'But you're staring'
'OK I'll try this macho pose'
'That before or after you feel by behind?'
'Changing rooms now'

Now isn't that better than I shagged the vicar but I didn't shag his deputy?

Refreshing

If the links 'don't work' just refresh them and they will in the end.

Twin(k)s

You have the well known Hamm twins (no wanting a Hamm sandwich jokes here), the Carlson twins, the Brewer twins, the less well known [nudity caveat] Tingle twins [/nudity caveat], and the Treadwell twins, and now the Daniel twins, or Drew and Ben as their parents called them.

In case you have taste in the TV you watch, or don't live in the colonies Drew won US Big Brother.

Whoops

...she didn't do it again.

Unlike me and the cute blond chap with ripped jeans (so out of style it's verging on dad style) sitting across from me in the Starbucks in Borders yesterday evening Brendan Fehr gets to get jiggy in the shower and on a bed. Now this might cause inane smiling from Nick Zano and David Myles but with Bill's tendency to say something and then think 'Did I say that aloud' I have to be careful so I sipped on my overpriced hot chocolate and admired his odd book holding style until he jumped up and wandered off into the computing or history section to be followed shortly by a brown haired chap. I resisted the urge to go look mainly because Borders is so CCTVed (we're talking David Blunkett wet dream here) that you can't even gasp at how many Bush bashing books one shop (it beats Blackwells which takes effort) can have in private without being recorded. As an aside you can now get a Chomsky Reader, why? All Chomsky does is moan about the US using long words. What is nice to see is earnest young ladies reading his books with great intensity but never buying them.

Call me odd but I prefer looking at Tom Welling's naked butt with great intensity.

Awaits the 'I like this blog a lot more without the politics but with the naked butts' comments.

Also spotted in Borders, author totty, yes author totty Owen Sheers.

On Ebay you can get this, sadly only the picture of Trent not permission to do that to him. Talking about AFL totty he's Jason Johnson and Mark Johnson who bring their own bed. You don't get that at Holiday Inn.

From Cleo's Down Under Batchelors [has issues with Netscape] comes Chris Tarrant (no not that one), TV host Alex Bruszt, ironman Zane Holmes, ALFer Brodie Holland, and Neighbours 'star' Jay Bunyan.


Caption this cap of Blue Peter's Matt Baker [Cheers Telespy]

Group Baths and Pretending

Rugby players from Down Under have odd bonding rituals, and none are odder than the group sit in a big bucket. Yes it does produce a lot of shots of half naked rugby players looking confused and the ubiquitous joshing but to me it looks suspicious.

'Do you have that picture of Todd Thornton with massive pecs?' Yes.

Have you ever seen someone looking so uncomfortable with his 'date'?

Anatomy of a Boyband

You may remember that I reported some time ago that Twen2y 4 Se7en who up til now had fallen into the so naff they were good category were launching a single that was actually good (relative to other boyband efforts).

It's called 'Where You Are' and it's not bad, not wonderful, but I only noticed a few missed notes, so good for a boyband.

Now I have also commented on the lack of flesh on their last video and they seem to be listening (or that's what my ego thinks).

The video starts off with the band as gardeners working on a...wait for it...garden while a model does a model shoot. This allows Thom to show us the top of his crack (again) and his chest whilst he plays with tools. Finally he picks a chainsaw and distracted by the model he cuts of the head of a bit of garden statuary. Now I'm not an expert in Health and safety law but shirtless wearing jeans that are slowly falling down is not usual chainsaw using attire.

Radon, and Andy get equally disturbed while gardening but don't get their shirts off.

Niall is washing the windows and perving on the lass when he falls off his ladder which means we cut to some Greek temple dream section where Naill sits on a rather naff sofa and looks pensive (and shirtless) while Radon gets molested by some women and Andy gets in a bad porn movie pose which he holds for some time.

The flaws of this video is that none of the good shots last long enough. Where's the long lingering shots of Thom (spot the obsession)?

The video is on the Media section of their site so make up your own minds.

100,000

Well we've had 100,000 visitors. The search that brought our hundred thousandth visitor here was? 'Bill sex god'? No, 'Karshner triplets gay sex'...ummm. [imagines blond bloke naked...happy thoughts] As if to rub it in the 99,999th visitor came from Penwing's and the 100,001 from Dreamcaps. Oh well.

Borrowed simply because it would be a crime against totty not to spread around Telespy's caps of Simon Thomas and Matt Baker of Blue Peter prancing around shirtless and it's a kids TV show. Nice to see two people so much in love though.

Olympic skiier cum American footballer Jeremy Bloom.

US college footballer Chris Rix again (centre) with other bits of totty, getting sweaty and about to get into position.

AFLer Blake Grimma can't wait until the changing rooms and nor can teammate Ashley Watson.

'Actor' John Dircoll can be filed under cute and unheard of.

Spanish gymnast Victor Cano sadly wears pants.

Advertising

In case you were wondering about the Google ads on the bar at the right (near the Amazon one that nobody uses) they are there simply to make me money.

It is likely that tomorrow this blog will have had over 100,000 visitors (yet very few of you comment or Email (quality over quantity I know but still a tad annoying)) and...

If only ten percent clicked on one of those adverts Mrs G and I would be able to buy the netting needed to catch Kip.

Fifteen percent would get V drunk enough to get naked (OK I know half a pint of shandy each won't cost that much but I'm also sponsoring Sam and Mark to keep quiet...forever [maniacal laughter]) or let me buy enough Twen2y4se7en singles to keep them going enough till we reach the Attitude nude photos.

Twenty percent would allow me (and a visitor of my choice) to sit on Mona Vale Beach in Sydney while writing this, persuading cute but thick Australian totty to pose on a webcam.

And thirty percent would allow us to bribe the scriptwriters of certain TV shows to write certain scenes. On Hollyoaks Jake and Joe could educate Russ and Liam, on Neighbours we could get then to ditch the naff totty they have now and bring back Jesse and Jansen, on Home and Away we could firstly get back Martin Dingle Wall (to replace the blob), secondly have Kane die in a manner no scriptwriter could ever bring him back from, and make Kip a naturist, and on every other show or soap introduce reasons for T shirt/shirt removal (whoops I've spilt my coffee/oh it's hot here in this freezer/for some reason I need to repair this computer naked).

More seriously it would pay for a proper site, reliable webspace, and Fresher's Week.

The Road to Tottydom

On the day I saw a person walking his three dogs 'Seth', 'Ryan', and 'Luke' (umm), one must ponder what people see in Dougie from McFly. OK he's good looking but for someone who looks like he's twelve.

More obvious is blond nordic totty Ryan Goodman, uber US college wrestling and American football totty.

South American totty Benjamon Vicuna and Christian Ocaranza (again).

Rugby totty James Simpson-Daniel.

Getting Jiggy

The Hamm Twins do the bulges in the air move and the oddly standing up shorts move.

Neighbour's Jay Bunyan shirtless and 'funny', after a night with Bill, and recovering.

More Mark from V lifting T shirts.

Actor Paul Campbell gets shirtless.

Mutant X's Jim Thorburn.

And finally AFLer Shannon Byrnes.

Getting Here

Like the House of Commons anyone can get in here and in a minor insomnia driven moment of boredom I had a look at the searches that get people here. There were the usual number of 'X shirtless' and X naked' ones (a little hint it is unlikely that under 21s get naked so don't waste your time), and some interesting ones.

I used the words 'sex slaves' so there is a nice collection of 'X sex slave' including some very complicated ones with one celeb being the 'sex slave' of another.

A hello (and you've got his first name wrong) to all those searching for 'Kristin Digby'.

And finally shouting 'BLUE Lee RyAN GAY SHIRTLESs' won't get you here faster but might show the need to locate the 'Caps Lock' button.

Flesh Amongst Equals

Bumbling Irish Olympic presenting totty Craig 'do you run if you do athletics' Doyle naked in snow.

Eddie 'Tag' Cahill is on CSI NYC.

A shirtless Andy Roddick says 'Stop winking at me Bill I'm trying to play tennis', then 'OK I'll come over' and finally 'Let's shag'.

Via RearEndz we get Jon 'S Club 7' Lee in only a towel.

The the OC's Benjamin Mckenzie is basketball kit. Must be someone's fetish.

Talking about fetishes here's Eric Szmanda's feet twice. Now if someone could tell me how to cap off a Divx codec movie I could do a bit of CSI and Buffy capping without a caption across it...

'Actors' Ryan Donowho and Emile Hirsch cuddling ('My room?' 'Why not?') and director Dan Harris alone.

Colonial Phixx

Eilidh from New Zealand (soon to house the Oxford anti New Labour emigres) has actually heard of Phixx and set up a fansite. And he does poetry (but unlike Petros is unlikely to masturbate for pay too).

The Pump House

AFLers Blake Grima, Jonathan Brown shirtless, and Brendon Goddard and Nick Reiwoldt to quote Getty Images 'in action'.

Wonderfully named rugger bugger Cooper Cronk being cheeky.

NYC 'actor' and party goer Fabian 'I took this shirt straight out of the package so I didn't have to iron it' Basade alone and with some female and the cute Jason Kirton.

Playgirl twin totty Dean and Dave Resnick.

The camp V boy Kevin and the viral 'gay' one Mark.

Prats

Why is 'Do not link directly to any picture posted here' so hard to understand?

If you do so all you do is stop others seeing the photos.

Papel de Copias

US QAF actor Dean Armstrong, and here's another one and another one...writer's block...

Gregory Smith...is umm called Gregory...he's wearing a T shirt...

Motor racing totty Christian Klein and Jensen Button seem to have a contractual requirement to use a Walkman 24/7.

UK 'rock' (or so the claim) band Rooster may not be that good musically but look rather nice (and have Benjamin MacKenzie of The OC's long lost brother as a member).

Via Boi from Troy comes college quarterback Chris Rix grunting and practicing for the night.

Oiks in football kit.

More of the Karshner triplets.

calendars 101

You are three triplets (because if you were four you would just confuse people) and you want to create a calendar. You know that people are not going to buy it for it's artistic value so you get shirtless in each shot.

Then your photographer says 'hey Karshner boys would you like me to rub baby oil over your naked bodies just before I "get jiggy" with you?'

So you reply 'Bill stop pretending to be our photographer'.

Then your real photographer says 'I've got the perfect location for one shot'.

You say 'On a rock with our oiled torsos reflecting the sun?'

'No on a golf course'

Faux

Behind in the polls and need to fake documents? Try here.

Fux

There have been a number of fashion or nobody sane would ever wear shows and I thought I'd ignore the lame bits of dish cloth and look at the totty.

Perry Ellis had a blond Ian Thorpe clone and who had his mouth full with a mate.

Visiting these shows were Michael 'does my chin look big in this' Phelps and Ian Crocker, and the rather cute Misha 'I'd make pretty babies with Bill' Barton and a troll.

Steve Sandvoss can look geeky but is good on imagery.

Fonsi Nieto who unlike other people called Fonsi rides a motorcycle...yeah Mr C.

Swimmer Markus Rogan practices his nonchalant look for when he sees Ian 'very straight' Thorpe in the showers.

Caption this and 'wrong head' has already been used.

Oddity

Plastic fantastic.

Failed Attempts to Fly

Spot the walking stereotype and the boy trying to be butch.

I hate to say this but the Yanks do very good gymnastic totty like Drew Di Giore (shirtless here) and Wesley Aderhold. And Mike, I am not going to post a clip of Paul Hamm speaking however silly he sounds.

Their actors with odd Dutch names aren't that bad either like Jake Gyllenhaal.

I'm not a great one for borrowing from birthday boy but Jerry O'Connel in PVC hotpants (that are beginning to split) means I'll do it this time.

Thunder from Down Under, which is a Chippendale clone from Australia and New Zealand not the result of cheap curry. Two thunderers are David Harris and Keith Miles (naked too).

By request Danny from McFly shirtless twice, Tom 'the jaw' Fletcher from the same 'band' and Bill's boi Harry Judd.

Really?

Bill hears Twen2y 4 Se7en will soon release a good song...yes and the New Labour cabinet are united around Phoney.

Travels in Oxfordshire

I went to Witney today.

You know how someone suggests going somewhere that was really naff the last time you visited? Well I do. Anyhow I went.

Witney is still naff, but and it's a biggy the Waitrose Supermarket (the overpriced supermarket run by the 'We are never knowingly undersold' partnership which isn't a partnership) is full of totty. It's frelling everywhere. I'm not talking Bill in a candy shop, but Bill in Bourneville.

It fills in the time before fuc...be nice to a Fresher Week.

Here comes the Flood

One of the oddest things that happens on TV or in movies is how some actors can act in one thing, but not in another. Hayden Christensen, him of naughty Jedi fame and now long hair acts with all the ability of a primary school panto in the Star Wars films but with real ability in Shattered Glass. Very odd.

What's in a name? Well if you are in a pop band called inventively Pop! with the all important '!' being called Jamie Tinkler might cause a bit of hilarity but it helps if you look like this (and shirtless too).

Rugby totty Cameron Smith is less a ball and some gorms.

Via Boi from Troy comes wrestler Chris Nowinski.

Via Dean Cain Fan comes a shirtless Steve Sandvoss and Wesley Ramsey and the sex scene.

Naughty Boy

According to Modelizer Pete 'the poet' Maneos, Mrs G's teaser, is doing an 'an upcoming spread, for the November issue of Playgirl magazine'.

Kinda of negates going to his site and paying for naked pictures.

A penis haunted world

I am a Counsellor according to the BBC [Cheers Mrs G]

A fulfilled request with NatWest and Cavegirl's TJ Sorrell shirtless.

Johnny Wilkinson practices his positions between men's legs.

Random model totty Nick who I have no more information about but he looks cute and was in DNA magazine [Cheers Jake].

Family Affair's totty Leon Ockenden (Sam and Ryan Davenport (Justin).

Duncan James and his Lego head...I just can't tell the difference.

South American totty Gustavo Gianetti [Jake again].

Model totty Joseph Sayers with spots [Cheers Jake again].

Thinking

Boing.

'If an Iraqi Muslim carried out an attack like that in Britain, it would be justified because Britain has carried out acts of terrorism in Iraq'

If it worked for Bill.

A creepy geek goes to a lot of effort.

Looking

Cutting It's David Leon looking cute yet out of focus.

Dancer and zealot Brandon Henschel wearing the holy mesh shirt of Antioch

AFLer Ben Cousins, Jarrad Schofield and Joel MacDonald.

A shaven Ian Thorpe. His family needed a new rug.

Soap stars so famous I only know one of them.

MTV not poet totty Stevie Smith.

Big boy Tommy Rowlands.

French minister son totty Arthur de Villepin.

Australian model totty Jake Wall.

NFLer totty Tom Brady rainy and modelling.

Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth

Beer smear.

A Thankless Task

Spot the theme.

CSI's/Everwood's Mike Erwin, CSI's/Everwood's Milo Ventimigliabutt what do you think of CSI/Rules of Attraction/Young Americans' Ian Somerhalder?

Never been on CSI Stanford and Austrian swimmer Markus Rogan being vain.

Also never been on CSI (or Top of the Pops (Lee Ryan and Duncan James of Blue have been on Top of the Pops and I'm sure this picture is innocent)) KWest, proof of the spread of Andrew Hayden Smith hairitis.

Now for some pointless blond AFL totty with Adam Hunter again and again.

Good totty, good totty.

More Freedies

I have five more Gmail accounts to give away.

You know what to do but this time without cucumbers.

Twilight

We Damn Well Better Win

The chances against anything manlike on Mars are a million to one

More ice hockey totty in the form of Canada's Eric Brewer,
and Finland's Niko Kapanen, Sweden's Christian Backman and Germany's Tin Boos.

Random German football totty Erwin Friebel.

Regular readers/lookers may have notice a few posts about US college gymnast Graham Ackerman. Well young Graham has come out. Now Bill purely being helpful and sacrificing myself would happily offer Graham a helping...hand...

Mark Blake and Cameron Mooney even do the facial expressions.

Genetic oddity Ian Thorpe might be vpadded but Ben Cohen has no need for it.