Tottyland

Why is the Great Escape not on?

Bet you never knew that, in Washington State they have magically appearing ballots, but only Democrat ones, Michael Moore is not just an object of fun, and that J002E3 was not Earth's new moon but the third stage of the Apollo 12 Saturn V. I though never knew they spoke Elizabethan English in first century Judea.

Also worth pondering is why are there so many war films on this Christmas and Channel 4's programming is so pants. Hundreds of old Simpsons episodes and one episode of Shameless does not a Christmas make.

It's the Blue Peter crimbo play thingy today (2:15pm BBC1) and it's a Simon gets his kit off year (which he does every other year). You do though know it's Crimbo when T4 (which has interesting Nazi connotations) go off somewhere (but sadly never leave June Sarpong behind), the alleged 'blockbusters' of five years ago reach terrestrial TV, Channel 4 try to be as anti Christian as possible and Simon gets his kit off. Sadly though I suspect the scriptwriter has been busier house hunting in Manchester than imagining why Simon (and Matt too) have to be in covered in baby oil and only wearing speedos (it is kid's TV).

So what exactly are these Greek footballers doing and is it legal?

I suspect that Chris Carmack was just a struggling model when he had these photos taken of him prancing around shirtless, looking all athletic, praying (or he accidentally put superglue on his palms), or practicing for a night out with Adam Brody. Also he probably wasn't counting on my dirty mind when he said, 'it's given me the body I want'. Whose exactly? [Via Tony who is on a totty finding streak lately]

ALFlers Campbell Brown hairy and shirtless, and Adam McPhee who for some reason bowls shirtless.

Finally a hairy, muscled and shirtless Ryan Reynolds. I preferred him less bulked up but what do I know? Well who won the Battle of Lewes which is very helpful when you are chasing DHL up about packages they seem incapable of delivering. There is a river deep enough seemingly, the Cherwell.