[rude word]

Outsports.com is being sued by a North Carolina man who said the website defamed him by running his picture in a photo gallery from the 2004 Los Angeles Marathon.

Prat.

PS

What Chris Harbinson who is the 'man' involved hasn't realised that googling 'Chris Harbinson' will bring up mostly gay sites.

So a not very clever prat.

It's all been Done

Now here's a master class in David DeCoteau film making.

Stage 1: Characterisation

Get some cute chaps and get them shirtless, then get some more and a Buffy clone, then get them to stand around shirtless.

Stage 2: The horror, the horror

Get some of the chaps to stand around in their pants with a few props that really say 'scary' put around the set. A few close ups of male flesh and chains. Now get two chaps only dressed in boxers to rub oil on a third similarly dressed chap, 'victim'. Scared yet? Bring out a chalice. Behind the sofa?

Stage 3: Scene setting.

In case viewers might still not 'get' your film add a few random shots to aid them. Good ones to use are shirtless with industrial background, Buffy clone and blond chap in be looking pensive, and the David DeCoteau classic 'chap half naked on (not in) bed' cf Voodoo Academy.

[Caps from Lost in the Attic]

Hurricanes, storms and other things caused by my bad cough

Ego surfing is apparently surfing for your name on the net. No the greatest thing if your name is John Smith I suppose, but I'm sure it diverts some people's attention. So do shiney things but let's not be cruel. A more constructive thing to surf for is seemingly disappeared totty like for example Jensen Ackles. Now Jensen left soapdom probably not to get typecast...as if pretty blond chaps get typecast...nahh. He went on through Dawson's Creek (no I'm not doing the him going through Dawson's Crack gag), Dark Angel and now Smallville. As Smallville went pants after season one I think I'll miss Jensen for even longer. Well he could turn up on my doorstep dressed only in a red bow but as I don't get to make laws (yet) I suspect not.

I'll just have to watch another AFLer can can. They be tired after playing on the pitch...oval...ground...bit of grass like Steven King and Peter Everitt.

Now for the blatant nudity. Stuart Fielden plays rugby...and here comes the nudity so if that upsets you , why?...wears boxers. How do I know that? Cherknob'll fall out.

Now we all know ice hockey is Croydon at throwing out time on ice but I'm now demanding that it's played nicely so not to damage, America's Rick Di Pietro, and Jeff Halpern, Finland's Janne Niinimaa, the Czech Republic's Martin 'you forgot the beard' Havlat, Kraut's Christoph Schubert (is it just me or are blonds with vacant stares really appealing?) and Canada's Jose Theodore (Jared Padalecki cuter cousin?).

That Bloom boy again.

Nick McCarthy of Franz Ferdinand...it does exactly what the filename says.

Some guy from Razorlight.

Reductio ad Absurdum

Old man looking silly, and the mad in New York and Athens.

Shockingly Alexandre Despatie promotes visits to the downs.

German Pop Idol winner Alexander Klaws tries to chat up a girl...as if we're fooled.

Spanish gym totty Gervasio Deferr gets naked...él i s la ley.

Roswell or SciFi Show that went naff after series two totty Brendan Fehr a tree, a evergreen tree, behr, an actor, a wheelchair using actor.

Ryan Taylor from arguably the naffiest band in the UK, VS.

Loving couples Craig Vie and Peter England and Bret Thornton and Ryan Houlihan.

Footballer's Tarts Peter Ash gets shirtless then naked.

The lastest Survivor Totty including John Kenney and again.

AFL totty Ben Haynes, Graham Polak, Ben Cousins and the West Coast do the usual after game can can.

Lord of the Ringer Jonathan Harding.

Eating Out's Scott Lunsford and Ryan Carnes relax and then get jiggy.

InMe's Joe Morgan.

And Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off.

Wet

Divers Alexandre Despatie and Troy Dumais.

A swimmer you might have heard of...Michael Phelps...he was on the cover of some magazine called Time.

Dancer Adrian Armas wet and gay.

And over on some second rate forum the oddly shaved one, Stuart Manning, is 'whacking his big long rod' as is Louis Tamone.

Who am I?



Giles says : Although you're probably one of the funniest persons
I've ever met, you have a fragile heart and you don't trust that easily. But
when you do, it's for life. Your friends can rely on you, but your being very
kind may be taken advantage of. You're quite shy but you try to hide it behind a
broad smile and a supposedly self-confidence which doesn't fool us.
Which scooby are you ?

My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, Which Renaissance Artist or Writer Are You?, is Nicolo Machiavelli (Wrote "The Prince")- Wrote "The Prince" which explores several aspects of rule with the undertone that the ends justify the means. Visit http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/prince-excerp.html

You're Augustus


Which Roman Emperor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, Which Axis of Evil country are you?, is Iraq

Hacknshag

Spam?

As hackers allow us on Tony Blair's computer [Cheers Ged], some write their own reports (but not from Cambodia), the fat leader of a country where millions are dying of famine gets uppity (must want some attention now Darfur is in the headlines), and hypocrisy thy name is Kerry.

Pork?

Mike Vogel used to look all cute and Saved by the Bell and now he looks like this.

I still don't get it but here's Home and away's Ben Unwin shirtless and naked.

I must apologise some of my sex slaves got loose.

He may be called Barry but we'll forgive Mr Watson for that.

Magic trick, or a new position for Alexandre Despatie and Chris Kalec. Here's bulging Alexandre again and Chris too. [Cheers GFB]

German swimming totty Jens Thiele.

The German section of my sex slaves [Cheers Art]

But you get a nice view over the Styx

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test


[Cheers Jake]

Let's get ready to ramble

By pressing the 'Next Blog' button on top of this blog I got to:

Kettle Bay Trading Post, who has Munch's Scream (the artist not the guy on Law and Order:SVU) on his wall...or so he/she claims. But anyone who has pictures of Hong Kong Phooey on their blog can't be too bad.

o meu pijama tem macacos who 'porque quem copia é fraco' which can't be legal in Alabama.

Kings Cross Times as in the one in Sydney not London.

Rants & Raves doesn't like the RIAA too.

Random by Jake from the Fourth Level of Hell!

The very odd Dreamteam...no not Kerry and Edwards...I think it has something to do with football or 'cocks'.

AnalPhilosopher, another over-educated rightwinger.

Peaston or warnings about bleach.

If you have a Blog worthy of inclusion in my links Email me and I might just include it.

Rampant Nudity

In former times...

The next time you hear 'back in my day'...

When people killed British women and children we used to lash to the muzzles of cannon and had a roundshot fired through their body.

This was a product of cultural exchange with the Moghuls in India.

Impeaching the real liar and making enemies .

The French liberated Paris in 1944 the same way they won the Battle for France in 1940.

OMG this site has shirtless men on it

Wylie chap in running around shirtless shocker [Cheers Val].

Russian popstars Sergey Lazarev and Vlad Topalov frolic shirtless and in silly clothes.

Greek gymnast Giorgios Tsiopoulos looking cutesome.

AFLers Jess Sinclair, Leigh Harding and Russell Robertson.

PS Telespy's caps of Dmytro Lysenko are worth a perv...look.

Into the great wide legs

Women's Rights

It pays not to be a sassy teen in Iran, but murder in court is fine.

Jacking up...a car

Microsoft of the football world Manchester United totty Alan Smith, Luke Steele, 70s haired Jon Spector, John O'Shag and Cristiano Ronaldo.

AFLer Luke Brennan goes and misses the ball.

Finlander athletics totty Jaakko Ojaniemi.

Australian running totty Adam Miller has a good front and behind.

Youth

I get requests which is fine and no I don't mind and time and bandwidth permitting I try and help (and put 'and' as many times as I can in a sentence).

I do not intentionally post a picture of anyone under 16 (the legal age in the UK).

I will not post pictures of under 16s so it's a tad pointless requesting them.

If your 'the same age as' them be a kid, have fun, have a childhood, go get a crush on a guy at your school...like Kyle who had the cutest butt you have ever seen and was in the school athletics team so would prance around in tight athletics gear, Roland who got drunk, fondled me and then pretended it never happened or Joe who Rowland got drunk, fondled and then pretended it hadn't happened too.

Oh and you saying he's over 16 won't stop me checking.

Guile

Ten facts about global warming

1. Britain is one degree Celsius cooler now than it was at the time of the Domesday book.
2. Greenland got its name from the verdant pastures that attracted the Norse settlers under Eric the Red in 986. They carried on their normal way of life (based on cattle, grain, hay and herring) for 300 years until the Little Ice Age, when they were driven off by the encroaching ice and the Inuit took over. The ice and the Inuit are still there.
3. Carbon dioxide is a minor greenhouse gas. In the atmosphere there is over a hundred times the concentration of water vapour, which is the dominant greenhouse gas.
4. Without the Greenhouse Effect there would be no life on Earth.
5. Temperature measurements by satellite, radio sonde balloons and well maintained rural surface stations in the West show no significant warming.
6. The only evidence of significant warming comes from mainly non-western stations that are probably ill maintained and are contaminated by the Urban Heat Island Effect.
7. Computer models of the climate are worthless, as they are based on many assumptions about interactions between climate factors that are still unknown to science. They are generally unstable and chaotic, giving a wide variety of answers depending on the input assumptions.
8. The Kyoto agreement would have a devastating effect on the world economy but, since carbon dioxide is a minor greenhouse gas, an undetectable effect on the climate.
9. The IPCC (the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) has been the main engine for promoting the global warming scare. It has become notorious for its corrupt practices of doctoring its reports and executive summaries, after they have been approved by the participating scientists, to conform to its political objectives
10. The really big lie about man-made global warming is that almost all scientists accept it. More than 4,000 scientists from 106 countries, including 72 Nobel prize winners, signed the Heidelberg Appeal (1992), calling for a rational scientific approach to environmental problems. Many senior scientists have also supported The Statement by Atmospheric Scientists on Greenhouse Warming (1992), The Leipzig Declaration (1997) and finally the Oregon Petition (1998) which received the signatures of over 19,000 scientists.


PS the above is to make you think not necessarily agree.

Subcultural Studies

Family squabbles

Theresa Kerry: 'I think the president behaved correctly in terms of being quiet amidst stunning news like that in a classroom of kids'.

John 'couldn't think for forty minutes' Kerry: 'Had I been reading to children and had my top aide whispered in my ear, 'America is under attack,' I would have told those kids very politely and nicely that the president of the United States had something that he needed to attend to...and I would have attended to it'.

Totty

British swimmer James Hickman fills his speedo well.

US athletics totty Paul Terek. [thanks Val]

Canadian gym totty Jared Wells.

Soon to be on CSI Miami Jonathan Togo.

'Bit of rough' footballer John Terry.

Chris Carmack refreshes himself, gets felt up and 'there are no limits to the imagination'.

German swimmers relax by a pool...not very inventive.

As if you hadn't guessed


How evil are you?

[Via Penwing]

Anyone know...

...how to change a 'video clip' file to a 'movie file (MPEG)' DivX codec or how to cap such a file?

My WinDVD 4 oddly switches off the Capture button when I run it.

Kip nude shocker...Novelist in London faints

Kip Gamblin of Home and Away fame used to be a ballet dancer (before you go stereotype on me he has two kids)which meant he has to wear odd costumes, get in odd positions, get naked and show off...you probably know where this is heading but still here's the usual nudity caveat, if nudity offends you take that mirror out of your bathroom...his bits.

Thanks to all seven (the most I've had in a day...which is nice) of you who Emailed the pictures and the two who sent me links to the various places they were posted. Credit to to whoever scanned them in the first place.

Slow Motion

Jake Campione...no idea who Jake is but he's cute.

Rain, wet shorts, clingy, Michael Owen.

German swimmer Thomas Rupprath has gone skinhead. Spot the Tottyland reader in this picture.

The oddly named but rather cute Croat swimmer Duje Draganja who I'm sure is just good friends with Gary Hall, though he can be just good friends with me as often as he wants.

The Empire strikes back with Matt Pinsent, Ed Coode, James Cracknell, and Steve Williams and if Ed and Steve aren't busy tonight... The US may have won more gold medals but we've never had a leader called Carter.

Another one of our bits of British medal winning totty David Davies and the not so successful James Gibson.

Rugby players in love? Nick Youngquest and Dean Young.

Swimmer Johan Kenkhuis who's gay.

Cameron Mooney does Brookes sports scientist.

My sex slaves Craig, Nick and Ryan Karshner help out when I have people over. If read stuff off the net they are either homophobic bigots or gay...how Michael Moore film of them.

Who said John Kerry had no sense of humour (or irony at least).

West Coast Totty

Unintentionally I have chosen all West Coasters for today's totty tasting.

There's Trojan swimmer Erik Vendt showing off his tattoos, both of them.

Then there's Austrian Stanfordian swimmer(can't escape the place (instead of balloons or fences they just have a cute chap in a too small speedo walk past you as you try and escape)) Markus Rogan who was a gold and silver medal winner all in one minute for the same race (no wonder he looks confused). Sadly after a quick game of guess the bird Persil or whatever he's called got reinstated. The judging at Athens is really naff.

Here's Maroom 5's Adam Levine who is very shaggable but I can't explain why.

Finally here's Craig Doyle who doesn't come from the west coast of anywhere but who really cares if I follow the theme of the post?

Good game, good game

Welcome to tonight's game of with or without. You challenge should you decide to accept it (and look past the use of Mission Improbable in a game show context) is to decide if you like three bits of totty with or without hair (on the chest that is).

We start with Andrew Levitas and after thanking the Gallery of Celebs for these caps compare them with him in North Shore sans hair capped by David of Id.

We then (if you haven't just clicked on the pictures and moved on in case I'm rude about John Kerry again) have Greg Vaughan of soap, Buffy and modeling 'fame' who if you have ever seen Poison Ivy has a good covering (guess who couldn't find the picture of it and had to use a glimpse through an open shirt) and smooth Greg as Lucky Spencer in General Hospital (resists urge to add in Diana joke).

Finally we have Matt Keeslar who was in the surprisingly good Dune miniseries minus hair.

PS while we are on a hair sort of topic if anyone has a cap of Richard 'white powder' Bacon in the bath from C5 last night Email it to me...you will...you will...you will...

The naked god

Only Italian swimmers could smolder when some 'clever' chap suggests they do a photo op in their suits and drizzle. The Stanford chaps get Californian sunshine (even though they are near 'The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in' San Francisco).

His father may be a drunk, the suntans fake and in these pictures he looks like he's made of wax but here is Callum Best.

Paul Hamm (or Harrm as they called him on the BBC (could be Dutch I suppose or one of those Bath (in case you are colonial or from up North its pronounced 'barth')type words). English the language we've confused the Americans with for ages. Oh and he's voice is wonderful too.

Alex Hay who plays for a British football club I really can't be bothered to look up...OK Rushden and something...happy now?

Brett McClure for all those who aren't as shallow as I am and don't notice the lack of hair.

Collingwood's Bret Thornton and Andrew Carrazzo.

Saint Kilda's Heath Black who gets into interesting positions and Nick Dal Santo.

He may have got a silver and silly hair but was a far better sportsman than the Chinese, here's Nathan Robertson.

I've always had a Jerry O'Connell thing (well a Charlie and Jerry threesome thing) and now I remember why.

Now before I go on if nudity, the male form and acting offend you go visit Betty, if they don't pray continue.

Here's Zac Taber in nowhere near a cinema gay erotic thriller Murder in Portland and he's NUDE.

Here's Zac ACTING at frolicking on a bed with another man.

Zac having his navel licked (as you do).

Zac finished.

Zac after his shower.

And a taster for tomorrow...

Hairy

I see Ian Thorpe has forgotten to shave this morning.

I, Totty

French actor Benoit Magimel clothed and not clothed.

Dutch swimmer Joris Keizer who may or may not be at the Olympics but I don't speak Dutch so can't tell.

Dutch gymnast Stef Smeets gets nude and do Dutch gymnasts Frank Bos and Ronald Ijdens.

Dutch judo player (do you 'play' judo?) Patrick van Kalken gets nude too...must be cultural.

Tom Welling's animated chest and butt.

That Timberlake boy.

[insert pun about rings]

Is it me or is this Olympics looking like it was run by the Millennium Dome Committee?

Well on to the totty...

French skater Brian Joubert.

Croat swimmer Gordan Kozulj [more, more, more, and more] who apparently looks like porn star Jordi Cosimo.

Royal totty

Let me introduce their Royal Highnesses Prince Phillip, Prince Alexander and Prince Peter of Serbia and Yugoslavia.

Credit where credit's due

Bill would like to than all those who have emailed him pictures, sent him links, and allowed him to appropriate their caps and scans.

If I haven't posted everything I've been sent it's not that I don't appreciate it just that I have webspace limits and going over 20mb a month would be an excession.

Thanks also to those who have linked to here or used the comments.

Finally I'd like to thank the academy, God, the milkman, S Club 7 for splitting up, and Trent Croad for being cute, and petulant.

Duality

Olympic

As Guard Young practices for tonight Michael Phelps may have lost a race, but not the bulge contest.

Someone tell young Michael to get a room.

Some more swimming totty Sweden's Martin Gustafsson, Germany's Thomas Rupprath moody and camp, Flatland's Pieter van der Hoogenband (inventive poses for swimmers 101), Berlusconia's Domenico Fioravanti looking for the zip and Lithuanian Rolandas Gimbutis shirtless.

The Dumais brothers.

Greek diving tottyNikolaos Siranidis.

Romanian gym totty Razvan Dorin Selariu.

Non Olympic

As Tom Welling gets ready for tonight here's Chaddles again.

Andrea Casiraghi may need to avoid velcro.

Ex Stanford (yes that place again) gymnast and now circus performer Jason Biltz looking small, spinning and playing with fellow gymnast Dan Gill's behind.

Another circus gymnast called Jason, Jason Berrent.

Finally we get behind (yes that line again...well it's late) Devon Sawa.

And finally...

It's dull in Wales.

A corrupt, self serving egomaniacal liar holidays with Silvio Berlusconi.

It's all so quiet.

Here's hoping it stays that way.

Let it Whip
by the Dazz Band

Love to see you whip it
Sure can treat you right
Give me just a minute
of your time tonight
We both are here to have some fun
Let it whip

I know you're into groovin'
love your body language
Baby let me know
You've got me so anxious
We both are here to have some fun
Let it Whip

Let it Whip
Whip it baby, Whip it right
Let it Whip
Whip it baby, Whip it all night

It's just a trip
No no, child
Let it Whip
Come on Whip, Come on Whip

Now that you can see
How you groove with me
What else can I do
to get closer to you
We both are here to have some fun
Let it Whip

I wanna see you movin'
Love your body language
Let me be your paperman
Love to be in your command
We are here to have some fun
Let it Whip

Olympic Totty

Before I start who's noticed the error in the BBC Olympics promo thingy? I'll give you a clue...By Jove it's Zeus.

Archery totty David Barnes.

The queue to Bill's bedroom causes difficulties for all those spectators or Jim and Mike as they like to be called.

A bulging Ryk Neethling.

Judo totty Craig Fallon seems to be modeling American T shirts by showering half naked. Is there Freudian water bottle handling?

Today's ramble

The West is best?

The University of Karueein, in Fez, Morroco was founded in 859 nearly four hundred years before Oxford (1250) and over seven hundred and seventy years before Harvard (1636).

A question of totty

A Spanish gym orgy anyone?

Who said forgetting your kit got you out of PE?

Do I see what I think I do (or is it wishful thinking)? [Telespy cap]

Is Jeff Timmons spoiling his new video by not taking that shirt off totally?

Is John Terry a bit of rough or a bit of fluff playing rough?

Does Stanford swimmer Andy Grant know his shorts are too small and do we care?

Verbum sapienti

A blog is a place on the web were a person shares with anyone wanting to read it his or her thoughts, opinions, tastes, and desires.

This blog is my place on the web.

I don't ask you to agree with what I post, have the same opinions as I do, or have the same tastes as I do.

I do ask you to treat me and those who comment here with a little respect...just a little.

Please.

Ho, ho, ho

G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

Or...

President Bush and the Pope were out on a boat fishing one day. The Pope's mitre hat blew off and started floating away.

President Bush said, "No problem, your holiness." Then he walked out on the water, picked up the hat, and walked back to the boat.

The next day all the papers said "Bush Can't Swim."

Or...


"[W]ithout question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation . And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction ... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real ..."

John Kerry, January 23th 2003 somewhere near Cambodia.

I don't

...post pictures of underage boys.

...post pictures of Aaron Carter whatever age he actually is.

...know if Duncan James, Andy Roddick, Kyle Lowder (he is married though), various Hollyoaks cast members, ect are gay.

Proximo sed nolo fumigare


College American football players Zack Mills and Dan Orlovsky.

Trent Croad showing his ass (Cheers Kenton).

South African swimmer Ryk Neethling and that Phelps chap again.

The totally straight Chris Park sans top with loads of men as he does.

Nicholas Brendon in his muscled period.

AFLers Adam Hunter and Drew Petrie (in an odd position).

And finally if you live in Bedfordshire I'm so very sorry...

Player of Games

My picks of the Olympic totty of the last few days.

Swimmers Michael Phelps with Erik Vendt.

Gymnasts Igor Cassina, Victor Cano, Guard Young (again), and the Hamm Twins looking camp.

Unknown but cute water polo player.

Australian diver Robert Newberry.

Let me tell you a Story

'Like that and I bounced up and down', 'see it goes slightly to the left', 'I hope the don't notice the continuity error', 'You looking me?' 'I prefer it like this', 'Ohh I've come over all coy'. [DaveID's caps]

Jay Bunyan trying so hard to act.

'I'm not Mark from V I'm Paul Gosol. Think I'd make up a name like that?'

Boi from Troy on the Jim McGreevy resignation:

McGreevy: Gays Unfit for Office

OMG OMG OMG! The Governor of New Jersey just came out on national TV. Jim McGreevy (D) has left the closet and cited his homosexual relations as the reason he is unable to continue as Governor. Bullshit.

Why is it that when a straight politician is in an adulterous affair *ahem* Bill Clinton, for example...it is is just "private matter"? If McGreevy thought plain old adultery (or even being sued for it) were grounds for resignation alone, he would have called for President Clinton's. Is Governor McGreevy trying to tell us that Gays are unfit to serve in public office? That is certainly the message he's sending!

New Jersey does seem to be a nightmare place for the Democrats.

How to sell clothes

Following the Abercombie and Finch selling method Ajaxx63 use models not wearing clothes.

Here's modeling T shirts by not wearing them at all.

The shirtless in shower method of modeling T shirts. So good it's used again.

Finally stand around shirtless and wet.

More Olympic Totty

Canadian diver Christopher Kalec 2 and and 3.

US swimmers Ian Crocker and Lenny Krayzelburg.

UK diver Leon Taylor.

US gymnast Wes Haagensen and 2.

I want

Steve

The Mass Psychology of Totty

As we avoid flying ketchup bottles, traitors are amongst us, Bush is going to win, and has Kerry lied about where Cambodia, Christmas Eve, and aspects of his Vietnam service?

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Marge Simpson

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I
don't know."
P.J O'Rourke

Now the totty.

Firstly some presents.

Todd MacDonald and Frank Lampard (looking for his brain) for Mrs G.

Alexandre Despatie (again) for all those who backed Jim's call for him and thanks to Jim for the pictures.

For Mike (and others) Simon Taylor of shirtless underwear rugby fame.

And a present to me from Kenton, Ryan Houlihann and an odd dangling bit.

Basketballer Chris Mihm or Mihm the Merciless because I like pants puns looking tired but cute.

Andy Roddick in mid strip.

Random swimming totty.

Adam Levine goes swimming.

Marty West looking cutesome.

AFLer Fergus Watts shirtless.

Ben Cohen looking hairy and shaggable.

Man of Steel

Well done comrade! You're one of the big boys! When you're not holding speeches about how everyone is equal in the communist society, you're busy living the high-life while millions starve, freeze or get worked to death! You zany person you! What tin-pot dictator are you? Take the "What Dictator am I?" test at PoisonedMinds.com

Getting you ready

Three days to go to the games the rushed so much it cost 14 lives.

Here's James Gibson, an excited Aaron Peirsol and David Carry.

Bill's Original Miscellany

Here's the ranting bit that you probably ignore.

After much searching and beginning to think I was looking for Eldorado (if that's how you spell it) I've found an intelligent, thoughtful, anti Bush site. A big yeahhhhh to Matthew Yglesias. Now you can see how it's done go forth, burn your Michael Moore books and inhabit the sunny uplands of Dorset which are rather nice this time of year.

What of course will happen now is young Matthew will go all mad and rabid now I've linked to him.

When you can't answer the issues attack the person eh John?

I always thought California was odd.

Question to ponder, is it better to be against gay marriages because of religious grounds like Bush or because you are scared of losing votes if you back them like Kerry?

Now the totty.

Remember when Take That went gay(er) or 70s porn movie? Here's Jason Orange proving boybands wear the oddest stuff. Jason at Sunday School no doubt...off to Tescos?

Here's model Ryan Siner looking cute.

Here's a few more contestants for I'm on TV but you'll not recognise me:

Zane Holtz (and again)
David Moscow
Simon Casey (and again)
Scott Mechlowicz.

A present for Mrs G Darren Stark aka Todd MacDonald.

Proof that Aaron was right here's Gil McKinney again and yes he is cute.

Via Boi from Troy (yes again) is Matt Leinart (yes again).

Keeping up the sport theme here's AFLer James Davies.

Mikey Green of Phixx has a talent, an oiled one, one that gets half hidden or shown in it's full glory.

And finally Wes Ramsey with long hair ummm...to quote an Emailer 'looks like a Bel Ami boy'.

Toys

From Space comes a database of 360° views.

You can see the bunker of the New Bod and the Kings Arms (pretension HQ), Cornmarket with the most expensive pavement on Earth, Nuffield, the Castle and the wonderful scenic car park that welcomes people to Oxford, Freuds, the massively overrated Browns, and out of Oxford is Charlbury, Blenheim Palace, Rousham, Thame, Crawley, Ascott under Wychwood, Stanton St John and Burford.

Shorn

While some fall for viral, and FM finally has a good post, some are just plain sick (well they are French), the Tube may not be safe (not just 50 year old trains) and 'a delusional paranoiac' likes the Daily Kos and TalkingPointsMemo (shock, shock horror).

I'm also wondering if the chap from the White Star PR department who suggested calling the Titanic 'unsinkable' thought starting the Olympics on a Friday the Thirteenth was a good idea.

If anyone is wondering what to get me for 10 August Day here's a model called Chris.

US gymnast Guard Young showing the value of gymnasts in bed.

They may be marketed to the gay crowd [see above] but with V it can't really have been that hard a task (just watch Kevin on TV if you don't believe me) but thinking might be.

In the build up to the Olympics and it's stadiums that use glass to protect spectators from the sun (ummmm) here's British badminton totty Nathan Robertson (so hard, no really).

Dutch swimming totty Pieter van den Hoogenband with the swimmers nose.

With thanks to Telespy here for Tony (et al) is a oddly mown Stuart Manning who has only been on Hollyoaks one day and has his kit off with some strange necklace thingy. Poor Louis Tamone just can't stop himself ('Won't look...eyes up...chin up...he won't notice...well he will notice my chin but...no don't perve...') getting a quick glance at something.

Just don't ask Stuart any questions.

I'm famous. no really I am

Here's some 'famous' people turning up to a Hollywood party but do you know any of these 'stars'?

J Mack Slaughter

Jamie Elman.

Zachary Levi.

Bret Harrison.

Gil McKinney.

Random Totty of Today

SciFi and Band of Brothers totty Tom Hardy.

Canadian gymnastic totty Grant Golding.

Collective Soul totty Dean Rowland.

Divers Alexandre Despatie and Fernando Platas.

Via Pop Justice Sam and Mark with an unlikely caption.

Boyband totty Thom Evans.

ALF totty

Carlton's Anthony Koutoufides

Collingwood's Shane Woewodin.

West Coast's Adam Hunter.

Fremantle's Ryan Hargraves.

And AFLers get frisky:

A touch between Ryan O'Keefe and Shane Clayton.

A mount of Josh Hunt and Nathan Brown.

Fighting the evil Censor

Bill has bravely decided for his readers to battle the evil forces of censorship and links you to the SwiftVets advert.

Here's a game for you spot the naffest pose out of Bruno 'were am I?' Langley and Ryan 'Oh must smolder' Thomas.

My favorite bit of oik totty Duncan James.

'The gay one from Phixx' Andrew Kinlochan shirtless which if you have seen a Phixx video is not that rare an event, nor are the leather trousers.

Via Boi from Troy comes American Football totty quarterback Matt Leinart who looks to be quite successful. He was given a ring by George Bush...ohhh the puns we can have from that.

Via MuchStronger on Dreamcaps I've 'borrowed' some caps on Andrew Walker (Sabrina the middleaged witch and that Canadian show where he pumped iron shirtless all oiled up in an episode...tissue anyone?) looking startled and then shocked. Give the chap a place on Daytime TV as he's just outacted most of the present 'stars'.

Guess who is on Hollyoaks now...yes Tony that's kit off with the flimiest excuse Hollyoaks.

Who said V were cool? At least the cutest one has a big mouth...all the better to...

It's amazing what you find in the National Portrait Gallery. Here's photos of Darren Mew and Robin Francis shirtless. Who knew totty was high culture?

Chris Evans just looking cute, no comments well bar this and this doesn't really count.

Pointless Fact of Today

Withernsea, Yorkshire's pier has been hit by ships four times shortening it from 364 metre to 15 metres.

Names

AFLers calendar totty that I didn't know the names: Mr April is Joel Corey and Mr August is Matthew Robbins. Thanks Val.

US ski totty Jeremy Bloom.

Luster star and pants maker Jonah Blechman has fun on screen and in the bath.

For the 'It's fake' brigade here's Stefan Booth again.

Head and Shoulders totty Oliver Lawton

Topher Grace and Josh Duhamel get hot and sweaty together.

The reason to watch Big Brother goes (and Charlie Simpson gets his eyebrows back).

Hard Eastender Rupert Hill (yes Rupert) strips on Corrie and Family Affairs [Cheers to Rearendz and Telespy].

Do you remember?

Stefan Booth aka Jamie Nash of Hollyoaks? Him of the limited acting ability but good body?

No? Oh how the bland are fallen.

Well here's a quick reminder of Stefan clothed, in shadow, trying to look sexy, and staring vacantly.

It looks like Hollyoaks has replaced him as Mr I can act really I can with Louis Tamone.

To Syros or to Ios that is the question

The thing about Michael Phelps is that he's (a) cute and (b) that body, but also (c) he can look so d'uh in certain pictures. Now when you are going on the cover of Time d'uh is not the best look. Other swimmers have similar problems. Ian Thorpe is a hairy beast and has been so since his teens. As odd genetics go I'm just glad there are two US Big Brother Drews.

Some people have names that don't mover country well like 'filmstar' Chris Evans or AFLer Chris Tarrant.

Some people bring it on themselves like Matt 'I strip naked (you know what that means)' Abbound.

Random cute chap called Jason.

A few gymnasts for my FM visitors to nick and (using their own bandwidth) post in the 'Megapost' (or two pages of old pictures). Here's Steve McCain after I tired him out, Jeff Johnson of the alliteration Johnsons and Randy 'too easy' Monahan.

I have no idea what you see in him but here's Ryan Kwanten.

I do know what I see in Sean Faris though [DaveID scan].

Martin Demichelis and Ivan Klasnic share a moment when nobody will be watching (the match is probably on the BBC).

Thunderbolts and Lightning

Very, very frightening...not.

Create Your Own Totty

From Coppertone via Tony here's a chance to create your own perfect bit of totty.

Let me introduce you to Trent who's my first play at totty creation.

Totty of All seasons

AFL totty calendar preview time is here again.

Cover boy Brodie Holland.
Mr January Brett Johnson.
Mr February Cameron Mooney.
Mr March Andrew Welsh.
Mr April Joel something.
Mr May Mark Coughan.
Mr June Mark Johnson.
Mr July Clint Bizzel.
Mr August No Idea.
Mr September Steven Armstrong.
Mr October Ryan Houlihan.
Mr November Steven King.
Mr December Brad Miller.

Naughty Boys

Alias' Bradley Cooper getting 'down and dirty' in an odd (and dark) sexual frolic.

Head to head, a quick strip and then humping.

Australian Big Brother totty Ryan 'I played AFL you know' Fitzpatrick, and Wesley.

Dan Carter All Black rugby totty again.

Please don't breed

Why is it that some straight people the moment after they find out someone's gay or bi ask 'Do you have sex with other men/women?'

No it means I like flying kites on Tuesdays when there's a P in the month. Of course a sarcy response like that usually produces an even blanker look from the poor sport scientist.

The next question usually involves if you find them (or someone else in the room attractive). 'Well actually I've wanted to shag your brains out but I've not been able to find them' or 'You're ugly and me being bi doesn't change that'.

'Does it hurt?'

'When you think?'

'No when you...you know...'

'Dance a tango in the middle of Broad Street?'

'You're making fun of me' [Only just noticed?]

‘Yes but in my taking the piss and imagining you without clothes way’

And the wander through straight confusion over what two men can do to each other in bed goes on. I pity anyone if you have to explain lesbian sex… 'Do they use their hands?'

Well as quickly as an antiwar protester gets violent I try and leave but then that Rasmus song 'In the Shadows' comes on and our resident great mind, we'll call him Jamie, for that's what his name is, is thinking (if that's not being too generous) 'shadows > closet > gay'. I'm at the time wondering how a body like that could be attached to such an ugly face. Overcompensating?

Anyway fortunately he grasp the concept that I didn't want to discuss it further with him.

Sadly pubs now at weekends can be like the Oxford Union or a women's changing room, full of twats.

I know a post that's an excession of silliness and not totty which is what you (or 99% of you) are here for. I blame the Government. It wasn't like it under the Conservatives (as many call girls will tell you).

Oh Jamie, Jamie how was I supposed to know...you were that naive.

In a complete subject change (which is useful when the family photos come out ('Oh this is Bill when he was 4 and I got him dressed in that hideous sailor's outfit so I could embarrass him with it twenty years later')) is it me or does the new chap on Hollyoaks have no acting ability at all? Off with his shirt time I suspect. Oh and he's not that chap in the 'he can read' cereal ad is he?

In another change of subject as I'm managing to be independently happy for a bit I'd like to say being in a couple is highly overrated (and you get less sex). Or perhaps blogging is cathartic in a subconscious way. As I suggested to the kind Emailer who said I should Email Mike Weeks and offer him something to climb on (whatever that means) one bit of totty might read this and suggest a night of Risk (Always try and get South America) followed by a few hands of Bridge. Honestly there are easier pulling strategies but Mike if you want too...

Pointless fact for you to end this rant when asked what Oxford was named after most tourists didn't know. One great mind suggested Oxford in Canada.

I bet Jamie knows.

And if you haven't guessed I can't sleep again...insomnia is fun (and not just north of Fire Island).

Jamie Scott

UK singing totty Jamie Scott is cute, talented, and should get his kit off.

On a night like this...

You could vote for me and really annoy the BBC, or stage a photo op, people fake things and bounces don't arrive.

Going to the Olympics are Blaine Wilson, British runner Chris Rawlinson, and I think Jevon Tarantino.

We get behind Sean Faris, and again.

ALFer Troy Simmonds get stripped.

New Zealand rugby totty Dan Carter in his pants.

Theatre totty David Sandercott in the nude.

As requested US gymnast Sean Townsend camping it up, and Duncan James' pits.

Actor, musican and now oddly nurse Shayne Gray star of the film Delta. More Delta caps here.