Tottyland

Ho, ho, ho

G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

Or...

President Bush and the Pope were out on a boat fishing one day. The Pope's mitre hat blew off and started floating away.

President Bush said, "No problem, your holiness." Then he walked out on the water, picked up the hat, and walked back to the boat.

The next day all the papers said "Bush Can't Swim."

Or...


"[W]ithout question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation . And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction ... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real ..."

John Kerry, January 23th 2003 somewhere near Cambodia.