Tottyland

It's the season to do Darren Jolly

AFLers are an odd bunch who seem to associate pianos with showing off their armpits, getting into compromising situations, standing around shirtless, and trying to look like Wayne Rooney. Bless. For those who want names, a file called stuartdew7vb.jpg might involve the AFL player Stuart Dew.

David Hille and Darren Jolly showing off their new kit. They look so proud, bless (again).

As Aussiebum was so popular here's some examples of what you can get from Heswimmer and the masters of baywatch.

The oddly flattening effect briefs, the contour effect (which helps you work out how far above sea level the bulge is), the red, white and blue, and damp patches if the model gets excited, and the clingfilm top and bottom (well it does stop your meat from spoiling).

College wrestler Tommy Rowlands and his...umm...very large...umm...it must be the first time wrestling kit has needed wire supports. Those who think my suggestion that he could clean your teeth during sex (think about it) is 'Ummmm' will not be invited to the orgy, though may be able to sit down during the next month.

College footballer Brady Quinn isn't probably at Notre Dame for his knowledge of the subject he's 'studying' (I may be being unfair...I hear media studies is very hard...some of those VCRs have really hard clocks to set up) but when he's shirtless you see his other talents. Guess who was crap at sports. They went and played sports on Saturday, I was in a pub or frolicing with totty. I don't feel overly upset about it.